You can reach me at mailto:tomryan@tomryan.com  if you really think you have to. Or figure out where to find my phone numbers and call me. You can always try to make it happen here. For complete information on our Foundation click here. Don’t forget to sign the guest book. And here’s what’s new or improved.

03-03-10 :

Considering it is only known for powder, beans, and a chain of crappy restaurants, Chili is getting a LOT of attention of late. Why come?

02-28-10 :

Mag is returning to Turkey, Caitlin is here, and here is a pic of me at the family dinner: 

People in Chile have nothing on Arizona - the weather is COLD! I don’t think it broke 50 today.

02-26-10 :

When I am wrong I am big enough to admit it. I meant to report yesterday that Tucson City was considering selling buildings and leasing them back. Not that the air force was shooting down airplanes flying in the area. Which allegedly or apparently they are not  or may not be doing. So there you have it. Or here you have it. I don’t know.

02-25-10 :

Today the Tucson air force base was shooting live planes out of the sky! I will post pictures when I have them. So awesome. Yesterday there was a shooting at another Az AFB somewhere. Lots of planes. The Falken Pig-Nose Spitfire Stealth F-14 Sidewinders are awesome. And again I note the loud planes that have arrived. I read M-Live which is a POS “news service” probably run by some POS ISP provider from Lansing, and the posts of “the Hoi Poloi” aka the person sitting in a bus stop which now has WiFi so said “Literatus” bus patron can post his legal opinions about things that perhaps, perhaps, the passenger of public transportation really is not all that knowledgeable about. Who’s to say? I say it is more probable than a finite universe, but if there were an infinite universe, could there be more than one universe? And what would be the reason for just one? That would seem a little random. I think I better hit the bus stop to find out. I posted some pictures of around Kitt’s Peak a bit ago. So I repeat myself.

Killing Shamu causes global warming causing Antarctic flow release causing climate change. We should seek out a country that has extensive research going on about whales.

Thanks to everyone who didn’t tell me the guest book was broken. All things in their time - I am losing my computer room for the next week or so...

02-24-10 :

Must have seen a UFO.

So, I am persistent. Thomas Obama Edison said genus is ... well, I already said this. Never mind.

I see that a killer whale or death dolphin or whale or purpose or whatever fish killed a handler in front of hundreds and on TV! Cold blooded bastards! And did you know that porpoises do it for fun? It’s true. It’s science. And it’s on porpoise. Speaking of which, how can anyone prove that what we call north is actually north?

02-23-10 :

Maureen has brought sunshine to Arizona, and Mag visits in a few days. Yea!

Today  I got a card in my email telling me about Obombabigbuilding’s Health Reform. It is an education. Reform School. My comments ??

When I was a kid, a branch of a tree we were having cut down fell and hit Mrs. Gross. She was in her convertible, and the top was down. Quite a scene.

So, here’s something knew.

2-22-10 :

My boxing career is going nowhere fast. T-Pain’s lawyers won’t let me use the name “The Pain” because of probable confusion in the names.

Speaking of lawyers, do you know the difference between a dead skunk and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?  That means you’re a gay fish. Or not.

When I hear people complaining about snow or floods or earthquakes or whatever they chose to focus on, I wonder how they would face an Arizona winder? It is in the 40s. Seriously.

Did I ever mention trying to order a Royale with Cheese in Canadia? Because they are on the decimal system. So 0 is freezing and 100 is boiling hot, and there are 2.2K to a pound, and there are 100 hectars in a day. It is very complicated. Anyhow the sales clerk didn’t know what I was talking about.

I continue to ponder whether what we have always called North is really South. Oh, remember the social experiment I was working on to bring life back from death? Well, I have learned something since then, let me tell you. First off, there is an instructional video called Frankenstein. Bu t then I remembered Albert Edison Einstein said genus is 1% inspiration 99% perspiration, so I am saving the sweat I get sitting in the sun to use to revive the lizard. That is genuine genus.

Although it was hard, Tigers Wood apologized. He had just completed 18 holes. Cleaned his balls after every hole.

2-20-10 :

You remember those things that you grew green “hair” on way back when, Shia Pets?    Want to know more? Then click here.

02-18-10 :

Clarification on my beard:  Now        Back in the day  

Cookbook for Disaster. Joke for the day: Why did the chicken cross the road? That means you’re a gay fish. I slaughter myself with laughter sometimes.

I am concerned of late about something. What if what we think is north is really, in the intergalactic sense, south? My telescope is not programmed properly. I think the problem is that Arizona is sort of a ‘special’ timezone, where we don’t celebrate Martin Rodney King’s birthday but did just make it wrong to sell guns to non-US citizens. And we have drones running over the international boundary of Mexico. Speaking of drones, NPR had some person there giving the precise distance, up to a couple feet, of how far a bee could fly on a gallon of honey. How could they even carry a gallon? Just the empty can, I don’t think they could do it. This isn’t rocket science. This is common sense.

02-16-10 :

Missed a lot of days because I lost several days work because of operator error, then walked away for a bit.

One thing I was going to include is a new page, “What’s New”. I reserve the right to change it from time to time, or not.

I have always been in favor of truth in advertising. Therefore it is with great loathing and disgust that I mention that the movie “Bird Man of Alcatraz” is totally misleading, and dishonest. In fact Alcatraz was the one jail he could not have birds at. I can smell a lawsuit there. Oh, and that Sean Penn movie, MILF? It was about some gay guy. Or is the “M” for “MEN”? Or what? Anyhow, his brother Chris was in At Close Range, which is a family styled movie. It shows the extremes family will go for one another. Sean Penn was in it, and was married to Madonna. So then I watched The Devil’s Rejects, which is also your basic family values lecture from the right wing movie industry.

Also, I am trying out some remixes of old jokes. For instance...

Your Question : “Why does a squirrel swim on its back?

Your Reply :That means you’re a gay fish.

Pretty darned clever, isn’t it?

I slay myself. Oh, and I have made some choices and decisions of change in my life. I am going to become a heavyweight boxing champion. Mike Tyson is in Scottsdale, I can use him as my “Boxing Bitch”. I am thinking of grabbing the moniker “The Pain” so people can yell “Bring on The Pain” and it will be for me. Would you not like to make it happen?

Speaking of boxing, the packaging some rope I got had instructions on the care and use of rope.

   Current Photograph of Thomas H. Ryan, via Logitech Technologies. I am a bit pale. But winter is finally over . . . 

Today the Pope stated that the rape of little Irish kids was unspeakable. No further comment was available.

Trying to remember what I had put in here.     [Space For Rent]      I can’t remember.

Ok, for real:    ‘79     ‘10      So, I guess it could be worse . . . 

Which brings me to the first of several questions I will pose in the next few periods of time. Why do we have to add the word “eye” to “eye brow”? Do we have that many other brows that we would confuse the brows of our eyes with some other brows? Browse the Internet and let me know.

02-05-10 :

Tucson was awarded today the distinction of being the 8th drunkest city in the great US of A. In related news, the state legislature of Arizona has finally recognized the 2nd Amendment in eliminating the need to get permission or allowance to carry concealed weapons. Finally.

02-03-10 :

The automotive giant SAAB has been purchased by the Slovakian government. The Slaab will be introduced in several months.

I am watching a decent movie with the non-Friends member of Romy and Michelle’s Most Excellent Reunion. Human Trafficking. Not a fee-great movie like the reunion, Better than the one about Sam’s Summer, or Replacement Killers, or whatever awful else she has been in. It has the bad husband and father from 28 Weeks.

Apparently Jay Leno has been stealing my material. Perhaps via Pat Robertson. So, anyhoooo . . .

Winter has returned with a furious vengeance. It brings poetry to mind:

I think that I shall never see

A fly as strip-ed as a bee.

Today  I was saddened to hear of the passing of the winter solstice. I feel your pain.

I know someone who went to Woodstock. Do you? Speaking of old times, I wanbt to publically congratulate every female in my household. I am proud of each and every one of them.

01-30-10 :

There are still some people who don’t know about my strong bioethical background. To bring everyone up to date, I conducted an experiment recently wherein I took a dehydrated lizard and attempted to bring it back to life. By soaking it in water. Much to the surprise of all, I am sure, it didn’t work. Here is the result:

  Unreconstituted Lizard. Eddie Lizzard? Cheers, though      

Sooo, anyhooo, here are a few nice scenes:    

And these are some of the things I like about Tucson.  

01-29-10 :

I added some pics to AZ birds... And here are some too   Pics, I mean    ...

01-28-10 :

I have determined that owls do not fly. I hear them, and later I hear them somewhere else, but don’t see them fly. Therefore, they walk. Other than the ostrich, or maybe penguins, do you know of walking birds? Owls are unique in being part of a group.

Lest fols think otherwise, I really thing Love Game and Poker Face are quite good. They are “catchy” which in my book counts for a lot. (See, e.g. Afroman). And at absolute worst, she is as memorable as Cindi Lauper (who?). Perhaps she also will chose professional wrestling over a music career? So, if you find my link to Cartman singing Poker Face, you’ll know why.

01-27-10 :

In the last couple days I have had a revelation. When I got married, I had ushers and best man etc. One usher committed suicide within several years. Another died of cancer last year. My best man died recently also. Oh well, life goes on...

I remember when I was younger, we drove to Flin Flon and then caught a plane to a small lake. Flin Flon had a big statue that was designed by Al Capp. You know who that is, right? Daisey Mae, and L’il Abner hisef. So, anyhow, we were going seal fishing kin a large natural lake. Flin Flon had a lot of lakes, but they were these dreamy colors like lime green and orange. I don’t know if those lakes are filled with blue gills or whitefish, but we didn’t fish there. Here is a picture of it.    Somewhere I have another couple photos of it. Is there a Fishing page????

That is basically your average Canadial from Manitoba, which is ancient Indian for ‘Canadial’.

Ok, Canada hates Americans because we always point out that IQ is related to the exchange currency so they are usually around a 45 IQ. But they do have socialized health care.

Right now there are clouds at the top of the mountains I look up to. It reminds me of flying into Chicago once and just the tops of buildings were showing. But sort of the opposite.

Now. This is an absolute true story. I have several attorneys, a physician and a salesman to back me up on this. Abutte 2 years ago we were fishing (abutte is how they say ‘about’) at a great resort, and the owner had 2 dogs. One was a (SP??) Weimeroner ?  and I convinced a fellow fisherlady that weimeroners were bred in Australia to be used to tree koala bears in the hunt. I am convinced to a moral certainty that she believed it.

And (but not least) that same day I convinced a ‘guide’ at the lodge that scientists had proved that fish had an IQ of 85, and the fellow was surprised but enlightened. This approached the time Maureen and I were having lunch at the Cleveland Clinic and I noteced a lady sort of listening in, and I asked Maureen how long it would take to go 100 miles if I were driving at 50 MPH. Both Maureen and I could see the lady just jumping out of her skin wanting to yell out “2 HOURS”. I gave some other time, and we continued our discussion a bit more quietly.

This last spring we ran out of gas about 1/4 mile from a gas station (over the huge hill) and there were bear eating nearby. We saw many bear, moose, and Canadials.

There were 2 different types of owl outside tonight. I have to get my recording stuff out to the porch.

I thought I had mentioned the telescope, but here goes :  Well, the pictures are on another comuter I guess...

Ok. Remember this?    Well. I think Requiem for a dream is a tremendous movie. And Golden Shower Dark Rain too. Well, maybe not that one.

And where she worked with Sony from Miami Spice at the car lot was a piece of work. Sony was married to the Antonio Bandaras’ Bitch. Or some such. Here is a small picture of her just in case you don’t know who I mean ...   :    is  for Pete’s sake. She is something wild, isn’t she? Ask Jeff Daniels if you need.

So, anyhow, in the Jared Leno movie with Ellen Burstyn is the guy who was the captain in the LAPD who was asking the guy with the flatulence problem how a black guy could not see a racist cop in referring to the guy from the movie with the crazy ex-wife of the Estovez kid, you know, the employed black guy from the movie Crash who wasn’t sleeping with the Mexican? He’s as cool as the Allstate guy. So, anyhow, when I saw him in the movie, I knew it was a hit. 

I have re-examined my list of sub movies, and it sucks. Operation Pacific has John Wayne and some submarine woman. Yuch.

Das Boot.

Destination Tokyo.

Run Silent, Run Deep. Which reminds me - I am in the process of correcting some grammar problems. Run SilentLY Run DeepLY. I will edit this list to add to it.

01-22??-10 :

When you are ready to start your education in WWII submarine movies, here is a great starter list:

I will post the rest of the names. Those above are what I am working on reviewing. If anyone would like my movie reviews, let me know and I’ll post some.

Worst winter in 17 years. A TON of rain. As someone said about political spending by corporations or wealthy individuals, “Oodles, squared.“ 

Speaking of “oodles”, tonight was some TV benefit. In Arizona it was the “Help Honduras” and we were contributing by text messaging so we can help make it happen. Both President George W. “Reserves Unit” Bush and Bill “I didn’t inhale” Clinton have said this. “Let’s make it happen. The best thing every man and woman can do is send cash. Even if it’s only a dollar.” Since we have been saying that for quite some time, we want them to express gratitude to him to whom it is owed. You’re welcomed. This has been a bad month for intellectual property theft and loss. Google. The religious nut saying now they didn’t have to deal with substandard housing. And now former Presidents of the United States are saying that we must all help make it happen and send cash. Because we care, here is our link to the donation site.

The Nation of Islam has declared as unlawful berets, cheeses, and surrender monkeys. The reason was not given.

I got for the holiday season (which in our home includes Christian, Jewish, Islamic, atheist (hmmm, spell checker didn’t mind that atheist isn’t capitalized), and probably nihilistics as well, as well as the birthdays of every human member of our family, a telescope. It is made by Celestron, whose name you probaly know, and it is a 5” “scope”. Ha, I’m already talking like an astrologer! But what with the weather, whether or not I have a scope is not really relevant.  Anyhow, you point it at 3 stars and it figures out where in the sky it is. Then you type in the planet to look at. I want to see the earth with the moon going around it. I really can’t see any other reason to have a telescope. So I just have to wait for the clouds to pass. Apparently the planet Pluto is no longer. I will find out if I can track satellites during the day with it. It is possible that I will see if I can take photos with it.

Anyhow, I have been having a bit of trouble walking distances, like through a big box store, and may start pulmonary rehabilitation. I took it before. Part of it then was that I was supposed to get my heart rate above like 120 or some such, and for whatever reason my heartrate goes from like 80 to 160 in a short time flat.

01-18-10 :

If you are a movie star with the first name Jennifer, please be careful.

Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Jennifer Connelly

Jennifer Lo  (hahaha J Lo)

Jennifer’s Body Jennifer

   This is an actual graphic.

01-14-10 :

I missed a birthday - Happy Birthday Elvis!!!

Today Winter came in like a LION! I bet it was barely 60 degrees out, and in the 30s tonight. Nucular Winter, GWB would say. I say Brrrrrrrr.

I was watching one of Jessica Biel’s latest academy award winning performances with Ray Liota and forgot to mention a great thing about my last hospitalization. The last room I was in had facilities for visitor sleep-overs. There were no limits on visiting hours. I could order off a menu from like 7a-8p. It was the best hospital treatment I have ever had, bar none.

Speaking of which, I think that Texas Chainsaw with Jessica Biel is the best version.

I got a new state certification. I am so proud of myself. Did you know I am a certified Latin teacher? And government/civics. It’s true. I also got my certification in web development.  That was where I learned about the software I use, Netobjects Fusion. If you want good free web authoring software, look for Netobjects Essentials. I got that certification in web design about 2 months before the ‘Dot Com” bust. My “Final” was developing a site where a business in downtown G would call and order from one or more of like 8 fast food joints, and we would order it for them and deliver it to them and prices would always be rounded up to the next highest dollar, so if the order was $5.67 you would pay 6.00 for it (plus tip) or some such. It was actually a decent proposal. By which I mean to say it seemed to be a viable sort of thing. 

I got my teaching certificate just as “No Child left Behind” came into play, which meant the state school systems were subject to this big unfunded mandate, meaning don’t teach Latin and save the bux. I continue to believe that a decent education in Latin is most beneficial to eloquent language experiences. It teaches you to not ever because it is wrong split an infinitive. It instructs that a preposition is the wrong thing to end a sentence with. You learn: a)Grammar, (b) vocabulary, and (3) how to keep consistent in your use of language. And how you and me can use proper cases so we don’t make a mistake. How to passively use verbs to make like effects are illustrated.

On the down side, my right lung really hurts these last couple days. Hyperextension I believe. Cough. Cough. Or sometimes just Sputter.

Tomorrow is Martin Luther King’s birthday, but state laws in Arizona prohibit saying anything, so keep it on the QT, OK? GR8.

Do any of you know who J. Thurston Howell is? His 2nd wife was called Lovie. His first wife was Haiti. I am totally bummed. I was thinking up these cute things like “Thank goodness they got rid of all the vegetation that was in the way of the mud flowing to the sea” or “They don’t have to worry about shoddy construction now” and then I find out that Pat Robertson got into my head and said all that but blamed it on some deal with the devil. I guess Robertson can’t think up his own material. I am considering suing his ass. Big time.

01-01-10 : Merry New Year!

Yesterday was a totally weird day. To begin with, I got text messages from next year (2010) when it was still 2009. It was exactly like that Sandra Bullock movie where she moves to the beach to sober out and has to drive fast to get to her job at the CTA and finds her best friend is a maid. It could be Jen Lopez.

So, we also SAW A BOBCAT on the wall. I feed birds and chipmunks, and there is a large hawk who comes by daily and a couple owls have been around, so I figure the bobcat was looking at the bait I use. I am currently looking for an optimal bait.

I am looking for a pet poodle puppy who can balance well and stay in place. Email me (mailto:tomryan@tomryan.com) if you deslre.

12-22-09 : Ali Lohan is 16 today. Yea!

Ok, part of “my story” : My laptop failed me around 4 times since Jan ‘09, requiring total reinstalls each time. Finally I concluded that the computer was dead, and got a new one, with Vista on it.  Vista Home Premium, which didn’t have FAX or scanning ability (MS apparently disabled these so they could charge for them). Found out Vista also has a somewhat different ‘stock’ configuration and wouldn’t find any of my pictures for this site. If you look through this site and count the pictures, ... well, there are over 10 of them, and it was going to be a MAJOR hastle. So, I upgraded my brand new computer win Win 8, and almost immediately I was hospitalized because of breathing problems and while I was in the hospital getting IV steroids, the computer at home fell, and the screen of my new computer broke. So it had to get sent in to get a new screen. By the time the screen got here it was time for me to go from Michigan to Arizona, which I did, with computer. But ... I forgot the power cord. For the computer and for the external drive I had backed up this site on. So I had to wait for those. They got here, and I restored to the computer I have in AZ which runs XP, and now the sight is back up. Cross fingers!

12-21-09 : Summer Solstice in Sydney!

Sometime from the first screen (home) go to Animals, Birds AZ  and see what I have to put up with. I accept my fates. And how would you feel if you woke up to see this staring at you in the side mirror:

So, there are 15 or so hummingbirds here. They are fierce and territorial, and figure that if they prevent every other bird there from eating the food will last longer. Actually that is probably clever of them.

Random rants : What is a pesk? There must be a pesk for something to be pesky, right? Pesty would make sense but I’m not sure it is used much if at all and it doesn’t “smell right” to me.

A history. An history. An horse. An whore? A hour. Can I hear a ‘H’?

I like the waitress in the bar in Sin City, so she’s passed.

Who did she pass? Or what did she pass? Since grammar is past being rotely taught anymore, I can’t say. 

12-17-09 :

Happy Birthday Caitlin!

It is going to take a few days to get my bearings here. You will not believe your eyes as I tell you the tale of man vs. machine, and how I got my ass kicked for the last about ... August, I see. I will over time recreate for you the mass of circumstances that effected, offended, or disrespected me since August 9. In the meantime... I want to ask everyone to get onto Youtube and search out Back Door Man Popa Chubby. Look at him doing Hendrix - no prob. Also, so you don’t get your hopes built too high, he was trained as a drummer, not a guitar player, so forgive him any mistakes you catch.

If you hit a page missing pictures, please let me know. You will understand better once you know what all this website has been through.

Molly got married.

I have been listening to Chicago and playing an electric  guitar to Savoy Brown. Et tu, Brute? If you want more Latin (or just a good grammar reference) let me know.

Here is some news from the paper in Honalulu - I am not making this up:

Omah, Neb. AP. A Nebraska man who stole a painting of the Virgin Mary to finance an abortion for a teen he raped has been convicted of first-degree sexual assault and felony theft.

Aurelio Vallerillo-Sanches, 39, of Omaha pleaded no contest to the charges Friday and faces up to 70 years in prison when sentenced in October, Douglas County prosecutor Brenda Beadle said yesterday.

Beadle said Vallerillo-Sanchez fled to Mexico with the 300 year-old painting worth $100,000 and the pregnant teen in March 2007.

When an abortion was not possible, Vallerillo-Sanchez pushed to have the baby given up for adoption, Beadle said: “He wanted to do everything he could to get rid of this baby ‘cause it was evidence against him.”

The teen returned to Nebraska after giving birth, the prosecutor said. Vallerillo-Sanchez was arrested in February after DNA linked him to the September 2006 assault of the then 14year old girl.

In November I spent about a week in the hospital, and am still sort of recovering from that - respiratory problems, don’t you know.

I got a 175cc scooter. Now I want to get a larger one for Arizona, too...

08-09-09 :

Ok. So sue me for slacking off here. And for this wait, here’s all you need and/or get:

This.  And this.  Or this. And/or this.  Or/and this. But NOT this. 

Busy isn’t the word for it, but I may go play guitar tomorrow with the other members of our group, The Four Skins. Speaking of music, this is all I have to say about that. It’s called Autotune. By now it’s Cher’s old hat, or Chas’s or the hat of someone. It’s a lonely island, but someone’s gotta listen. Unless you’re looking for a stolen copy of Stan by Eminem.

08-02-09 :

So much going on. I went to a party on the river yesterday. The Thorneapple River.

Fluffs McGee, the new cat, has her own Facebook page. Can you believe it? Me neither.

The other day when my moped stopped - it was out of gas (sigh). Our oldest cat, Cali, just wants to go in and out of the front door all day. She’s driving me nuts.

Lindsey Lohan has a job in the new Rodriguez film. Britney drove. I have been working slowly but surely gardening.

07-27-09 :

A German politician’s car was stolen in Italy. Hey, it’s news in Europe. Here’s America’s news.

My moped stopped.

The new cat, Fluffs, is finally getting friendly.

Pics:    

Someone. Sawone. One ass.

Two women who  basically define today’s generation’s definition of class. Octomom (who has 14). Coco.

07-25-09 :

I don’t know what to watch, but I know who not to watch it with.  Now, here is some real news we can all use. And here is the Danny Devito version of the Milky Way... Hey, is that Mini-Me?

Speaking of the solar system, if man isn’t watching out, at least someone is, and here’s the proof. 

Could a hillbilly play this banjo? I don’t think so. Apparently everyone in New Jersey has been arrested. Peggy? Dave? You sprung yet?

Dogs join sea creatures in attack on man.

07-23-09 :

The dog from Legally Blond II died. Maybe they should have cloned her. Alligators join squid and jellyfish in attack on America. Let’s give him a hand.

Profiling or not? Depends on whom you ask.

Junior High Prank in Phoenix,  The question to Redmond is “Why?”

07-22-09 :

Not much here. Today’s big stories : Men warn squid, jellyfish and pythons; and pesky elephants; new news : comet killed dinosaurs, here’s how we know, and here’s why I remember.  Coke denies it advertises for Sprite, but not even diep pop can help this lady.  Oh, and man killed off neanderthals by forcing spears into their bodies from great distances.

But saving the planet does not require killing off the bats. But these people today are blind as bats.

And the Quasar Killer is still loose. 

07-19-09 :

Jumbo Squid in California; jellyfish in Japan, Pythons in Florida - they make their move against man. That’s why I’m changing my name.

Jim Morrison sang about how people are strange. Here’s the proof. Hot dog - a crash!

Today’s pics are         

I love being that alternate race of monkey that was in Europe until they died off, and killers, and ventriloquist dolls, and of course clowns.

Georgia can’t steal water anymore. Could be lucky because Florida is full of tropical, BIG snakes. Of course, we covered this before. What’s worse, snakes or rats? 

Click here for a cool thing.

Time flies when you’re working hard. Lots to do around the old home. Got a big dumpster outside. All we need is some car hoods to complete the scene.

Not too much new. Giant squid are on the attack in California. Spacemen are on TV. SamRo and Lindsay are still breaking up and/or going out.  Mexican cops helped the drug murderers in Mexico. Columbia is letting the US set up military basis to go after drug lords and pesky neighbors. Obombabigbuilding spoke about being black, but Clarence Thomas didn’t. Palin and Romney. Family Guy and  Southpark (Margaritaville) are up for Emmys.

Did you know plants may need sleep and they have different moods at different times of day. It’s on the US Ag site.

Fluffy is slinking about. She came a kitten; she leaves a cat. She appears to shed about a bucket of fur a day. She is soooo skinny. She has troubles with basic life functions it seems sometimes. And Bunner kicked her butt last night, I am pretty sure.

Maureen is updating her labels of Turkey photos.

07-15-09 :

Ok ok, you’re lucky I’m posting anything, but here goes.

Apparently Palin has raised several million bux lately, or her PAC has, and for some reason she is sitting on hundreds of thosands of dollars of legal fees so she must get sued alot or sued for alot some, or whatever. Speaking of work, 3 more drunks may get back on the road If I have my way.

Oh yeah. I hereby claim trademark rights on the label for my moped “Hardley Davison”

Obombabigbuilding was in Michigan admiring laid-off workers. He confidently told them they had no prospects soon, and congratulated them on helping make Michigan Number One in Unemployed. At least we’re not as bad off as California, though. Or some banks. And we don’t have to put up with any stupid stinking smoking regulations.

So, around the time of Eve and Adam, there was this: And thank god it is gone, too, if you ask someone. But there’s always hope.

07-10-09 :

Palin’s grandkid’s dad agrees with me that she quit for the money. Well, here is how beauty queens say they’re smart in world affairs. (Here’s another explanation of why Vegas isn’t as well known.) Speaking of orphans and grandparents, it may be dangerous to adopt, or to be a serial adopter. Should Angelina be afraid? Brad? Jen? Who? You tell. me. There has to be a message there. But it is better than a cover-up. Even if it is just over some pieces of paper. Maybe that’s just me.

Speaking of cover-ups, how did the military finally decide that “don’t ask/don’t tell” thing?  I am currently a card-carrying member of the BLT (bisexual/lesbian/transvestite) Association Democrats, or BAD, as we prefer to call it. We are that accepting of diversity. Except if you have had your appendix removed. We _may_ be suspect, I’m not sure. But I am sure that if you go out and start to order a BLT make sure you know what you want. Or don’t. As the Time-Warnet Movie said, “Free Willie.”

Obombabigbuilding was lodged at a dormitory in Blackula, Italy. It was chosen for its name, im commemoration of his visit. This was the site of an earthquake earlier this year. Here’s another site that has had some major earth movement in the last year. But I think more money moved here than earth.

I reported a death earlier this week, and I guess he should have watched more TV. And I am working hard to get some folks on the road for complicated legal reasons but mainly because drunk drivers are being subjected to different standards at different offices. 

Have you made it happen yet? Have you read the book “Making It Happen” by Richard Amato? You owe it to society and yourself, if not me, to make it happen. Yes, the book is real, and yes, you should make it happen. What do you have to lose? $1..00 plus stamp? Have you considered the possibility that we don’t want “friends” who struggle over $1.00 plus stamp;” decisions in life.  Huh? No, you haven’t considered that, because you woldn’t struggle over worrying about people who couldn’t “risk” $1.00 plus stamp on a make-or-break basis. Thus, you see, it is only logical to make it happen.

07-09-09 :

Today Jeb Bush spoke out about Obombabigbuilding. Has he ever thought about this before speaking?

Speaking of being before her time, Maureen chose her vacation spot well. Better than the resting place of some, to be sure.

California withdrew from statehood today, claiming that it couldn’t afford to be a state anymore. The military took over strategic posts as it quashed rebellion. The leaders have waved their IOUs to cameras, shouting that the taxpayers owe them big time. North Korea responded with attacks on the U.S. I wonder if California is with or against North Korea sometimes.

On the other hand, here in Michigan, Pontiac is for sale on Youtube, with a buy-it- now price of $3,999,999,99. Now, that’s a deal. Although it is last year’s models, which have been, of course discontinued. .

Then again, Canada has its high points, that’s for sure.

Molly posted her recipe for cat stew, or cat pie, or whatever it is, so I tried to be cute and “Googled” (tm) eating cat and there were all sorts of pictures skinning cats, etc. It was sick. To make up, I post a few beautiful cats’ photos:

07-08-09 :

Tom Dewitt, a lawyer I shared space with for several years, died. He was 59. Death is as lonely as Slim Pickens’ wind farms, too. And here is some sad local news - there are some strange people out there. Death, while part of life, is probably cold and without thought, but I’m just brain dying. (Psst - look under Jeb’s link above.) Anyhow it seems somewhat unpredictable and irrational in its application. The lawyer and aa local orthopod and father of the kid who authored the movies that made Tara Reid popular, based in EGR, were orphans. That is probably sort of sad, too. Would it be happier if your parents had gotten killed? Or if they just didn’t want you? Or thought they couldn’t take care of you enought for you to survive? I guess there are all sorts of reasons one might become an orphan, but none of them sound as good to me as being born into a family. Or more specifically the correct family.

North Korea has begun a cyber-attack on US and South Korean governments. That country is so clever! They are using DOS attacks, to basically make the line busy and unavailable for callers.

Spazmeana, I mean Yasmina, has her own facebook fan page.

07-07-09 :

We lost sound in Grand Rapids for the last 40 hours. It is so quiet! Thank god the power was on so we could look at TV. But all is restored now, so I will continue my blog.

Today Cher was burried. Sony and Chastity both spoke beautifully as expected. Farah was buried yesterday. Otherwise not much has been happenin’ here. I disconnected from the world for several days, basically meaning I turned my phone off. I met Molly’s fiancé, Osama, who is from Bagdad. He is in computer science, and seems a very nice young man. I wish him and Molly the greatest, and hope for their good and prosperity. Save! That’s all I can say. I have never been one to push my opinions anyhow, as evidenced by my fair and balanced treatment of the Largest state’s Quitter Qlub, being young Sara Palidin. I think she is going to speak and write and make a bunch of money. Speaking of which, what ever happened with the baby of whatshername who was married to the 90 year old guy until he died, you know, the playboy bunny Calvin Klien model who OD’d and was going out with the creepy lawyer and had questionable medical medication to the point of death. I guess that’s how cute girls act, though. Anyhow Palidin will cause people to waste money and she will then waste hers trying to knock out Romney the Morman. His father was a very popular governor in Michigan and he sure beats Devos 7 days out of the week. Devos/Palin - now there’s a ticket. Or Palin/Devos. Who will blink first? Anyhow, that would be a pretty extreme group out there. You ought to see my spell-checker’s opinion, though.

I petted my cat today. His name is Cow. I got a lot of fur off him. I sort of pulled his fur lightly and lots of it came out and he started chewing his cud. At first I thought that cats don’t have cuds, but then realized Cows do. Anyway he feels a bit cooler and better now. I pulled Cali’s fur the same way and she was in seventh heaven, meaning I believe that she has 2 lives left. And then I went out to some “cute” bar on Cherry that had ‘cans’ of Budweiser. That’s ridiculous as believing OJ would deceive deception if he wore a mask. No rational beer drinker drinks from a can I thought immediately before ordering a can. And I used a weed whacker that I got to replace the one stolen as reported previously. The new one doesn’t have the uteri that the old one had, but will suffice.  Or cornholies or cahones or whatever they are called in Mexico. We have a couple gardens that need a whacker and won’t settle for anything less though, so I will be able to clean them up.

Moving to the Carribean, apparently Amy Winehouse can’t go near the pool anymore because she has been passing out. Poor thing - must be exhausted.

I rode my moped about 6 miles yesterday. I like taking it for short hops. It tops out around 50 mph. It is a 49cc. My lawnmower is a 196cc. My lawnmower is almost 4 times the machine. Well, I sound better and probably get better milage too. But maybe the lawnmower would go 196 mph if I modified it somewhat. But 50 for a 50cc is ok with me. Add 5-10 min/hour. As long as it is dependable. Mine is. The first year there were a couple rough spots. But it starts and stops and runs so what the hey?  I have 2 in Tucson but the driving surfaces there are much faster than my moped, and that causes me to believe they aren’t very safe. The roads are much more substantial and everything is far off so everyone has to drive to get anywhere. But the moped registration in Michigan is very inexpensive and lasts for 4 years or 5; no insurance required; no helmet required (they are easily stolen). To be honest, I have not measured the gas and miles yet so I can’t really say what the MPG is but I have to believe it is very good to fine. Weather permitting, it is a pretty ideal mode of transportation.

Family has all sort of gotten back to normal after trips, engagements, travel plans and the like.

Tomryan.com blog concerning Michael Jackson : Today the King of Pop was buried (apparently; I wasn’t there and can’t attest). While in the beginning, we all thought of Mickael as different, but at death he was almost one of us.

Our Tribute -

You came so close

And, as Bubble Gump said to Forest, “And that’s all I have to say about that.”

07-04-09 :

Well, I declare! On this day in 1964 JFK gave blacks the right to vote as Independence. And on this day in 1865 Abraham freed the slaves from the shackles of poverty, promising to reach the moon within the decade. And on this day in 1774 Betsy Ross created that for which she shall always be known as Betsy Blueberry Muffins Ross. Run that up your flagpost and see how it flies. Today many locales are putting on expensive fireworks displays, to proclaim from on high that no deficit is too big for explosions. These all stem from the Right Voting Ax of 1965. That was the same year as the Toting Act, permitting the toting of guns in public places.  The Right Voting Act was repealed by Nixon, thereby opening the foors to that Representative Watts fro Oklahoma. What was that all about? Admit it, you think it is because he was a victim of social unrest? I mean, the guy must have done something horrendous to quit like he did. Democrats are like butter. Republicants are like margerine. Republicans. Whew. I remember back to the day they were running things. That vice president guy, what’s his name? Oh, Cheney, yeah. Chastity is changing and he’s not opposed. Those “republic” guys were really over the top. Give me the meat and potatoes of life and I’m good to go. But those guys? Shocking. You know. Like torture? Get it? God, you are so slow sometimes...

Maureen took pictures of Turkey. Seeing them, I tried to watch that movie where the kid is smuggling hash in Istanbul? Anyhow, I found it dark and depressing for some reason so I switched to the original 1978 or whatever Texas Chainsaw Massacre and frankly didn’t find that much of a real pick-me-up but then I decided to quit watching movies, and I watched the movie Stargagte. It is so weak, so lame, that it is almost not terrible to watch.  And speaking of Turkies, I think I am getting a GOAT!!! I am not sure what room it will live it. Frankly I think it will probably use a couple rooms.

Al Franken took his post but only after being assured that he is 2nd in line to be Pres. He is becoming so much more middle of the road, sort of like Specter or that “Spitwad” Alabama guy or the Jewish guy who was almost elected VP for Al Gore, the basic definition of “Democrat”.

Here is a picture I got somewhere.      Hey! Lay off the bean dip willya?

Here are other pics I got today, mainly of me.

07-02-09 :

Minneapolis has its own version of Boomer.

Faithful readers will know this website has been a strong advocate for not throwing newborns away. Unfortunately there are still people who haven’t read this, and that’s a shame and maybe a crime. On the other hand, parents who give their kids breathing space are also suspect. Unless it is at a racetrack.

07-01-09 :

Curt Cobain’s wife has been ordered to lose weight or face serious health issues because she is too fat for her own good. He had no comment. She, on the other hand, considers becoming cast member of “The Biggest Loser” because she lives the part daily.

John Edwards, on the other hand, makes a try at movie producer, but fails miserably. Meanwhile, Andy Young may have stolen one of Edwards’ kids baseball card collections. This from a U.N. embassador? I am shocked and appalled.  But not as shocked ast this family was...

Meanwhile Russia is gambling with gambling off-limits. You figure out how to figure out this one.

06-30-09 :

Minnesota has a senator. Here he is. Just hot air? You decide.

06-29-09 :

President Obombabigbuilding has taken stock of American stock and his conclusions are shocking. More shocking is the photo of his cousin.

Clint Eastwood would be proud of his little friend, the first cousin.

Bernie Madeoffwithallyourmoney got 150 years in prison, but let’s be honest. With time off for good behaviour he coule be out in under 74 years, so he really didn’t get that much. A slap on the universe’s wrist.

Boomer the neighborhood plague has been stopping by lately.  Thank God for BB guns.

I have been running slow and low the last several days which is why I haven’t really posted more than some Youtube links. As I reconnoiter I will post more. I am similar to other creatures in my habits, though.

Scientists from Colgate University have discovered an apparent remnant of a supernova that occurred near our galaxy some time ago. Researchers from Crest College disputed the claim however. Aquafresh Community College representatives were unavailable for comment.

I saw the Dog Star. It’s sirius.

06-28-09 :

Scientists have concluded that theoretically radio waves from earth have reached the moon and bounced backward toward earth, causing a “feedback effect” which could be responsible for earthquakes, wave formation on the seas, and whales landing on seashores. This stunning report, from this year’s “Science-Like” journal, have stunned leaders from around the globe. Kim Yung Mentally Ill is reportedly “concerned, very concerned.”

In a feeble attempt to steal thunder from MJ’s timely demise, having died from presumptive Lime Disease, Willie Mays died.

Here he is:     Apparently “Humpty” bumped his head and fell apart.

Also dying today was Lindsey Lohan’s career, as she got back together with SamRo the woManHo. Yuck. Here is a song about her. 

Some are suggesting I just learned about pop-ups but it isn’t so - I did just decide it was the easiest way to do what I want. So there. Speaking of which, I think Tori Amos is very talented. Her Curt Cobain songs are very fine indeed. Her song about Britney is sad though. Not as sad as having to prove I can do different kinds of pop-ups, though.

I have been putting up links of music of the kind you all already know (except Rokia of course) so I’m going to suggest that you give a listen to these:

King Crimson   Joe Byrd and the Field Hippies      The United States of America      Nico with the Velvet Underground   Pink Floyd

Now you can speak with authority about alternative music of the 60s.  And quote this to be seen as “smart” about American music. Heck, even Sheryl Crow does a cover of that song.  Not sure she mentions the “shine” thought like Jimmie Rogers did ... Bill Monroe is generally thought of on this song. I heard this song as a little kid once and remembered it distinctly. Only last January did I hear it again (on BBC of all places) and followed up to see how familiar it is - Mule Skinner Blues is the title. There. Now you know. And if you Wiki Joe Byrd you’ll see Yoko and he were friends in the mid-60s. Talk about a small little world in this huge universe we call the United States. Oh, and that King Crimson clip is from the 80s.

06-27-09 :

Today’s Ponderables : You consider this while I consider this and we go political about words today. 

Man, am I lazy or what? But when you consider the earlier to the later, it makes you think about somethng, doesn’t it? Each of these guys is so good on guitar.

Here’s near where it started, though. Now, you try. (And you probably thought Santana wrote Black Magic Woman, didn’t you?)

Well, here’s the guy who I watched and decided to try guitar back in ‘72. I think I insulted him when I noticed he played the harmonica upsidedown and said he should take a left-handed guitar and play it right-handed in a reverse Jimi thing. The “insult” was in 2007 and I am not sure he’s able to deal with my smart ass mouth yet.

Did this work? or is it just a black hole? Well, this is not a black hole but one of the coolest things you have seen today, this week, this month, this year, or this century - Animusic is awsome!

06-26-09 :

Here is the last pic of MJ :    but here is me so   :

I have to break this page into smaller pages, don’t I? Help make it happen if you know what I mean...

Today’s music links are here and here . I like Hookers.

NEWS FLASH - Rock Group Golden Earing Killed in air crash.       Just kidding.

06-25-09 :

Earlier (it’s below, down a few lines) I asked you all to consider that. Now compare this and this and let’s speak. Oh - did you figure out that my guest book which has its own button to the left, is working? Go ahead, enter the guest book, and make it happen.

OMG - I just wrote about Michael Jackson and he’s dead now. This is like Twilight Zone, which reminds me of the song called Twilight Zone but I’m afraid to mention it lest that group die. This is scary. Let me try this : “Golden Earing” - now wait to see if the curse is working or not.

Too hot to sleep. Here are a couple things to talk about.  First, this. And this is how we keep the cats cool in the hot weather.   

So anyhow, this big overweight guy plays guitar in a show wearing pleather or leather or whatever.   What next, head on fire?  But out of respect to Bo Diddley, I instead will show this.   And of my eternal admiration of Michael Jackson, we go here.

Apparently Obombabigbuilding is not a quitter, but may be a cheater. Speaking of whom, his wife, Mrs. Elizabeth Edwards, was recently on NPR. BBC takes a lighter tone, choosing to focus on the rapid demise of sharks. I have said for years and continue to say that overfishing can’t wait. Because everything is something else’s food, if we break the foodchain then all sorts (ALL SORTS) of other species will either flourish to extremes or die off from lack of food.

I am hoping to go clubbing in Hawaii. I think I’ll go to Seal Club Point.

06-24-09 :

Work today, but because no AC working, I had to work outside.

East Carolina’s Leader wasn’t mountain climbing,  but  he was with an exile in Argentina, where former Nazi spies live. Coincidence? You tell me.

Speaking of how long a politician can live, look no further than jerky.  I had no idea. I suggest sending the Neanderthals back to the moons of Saturn.

I know of a man who lost his left arm in a grinder (meat type) who might want a salamander.  Since Republicants are losing limbs of their party at accelerated rates, they might want some also.

Maureen saw Maggie in Turkey! Wow!! Talk about coincidences.

Wedding in Hawaii!!! More details coming soon.

06-23-09 :

It is 138 degrees out and I blame Al Gore.

Because of the heat, I am watching Body Fat Heat starring Kathleen Turner and William Hurt. Here they are:

      She’s a bigger star. Bigger Photo too.

The power went out today for about 5 hours, which is why I haven’t blogged the last couple days.

06-20-09 :

We’re number 1! Michigan’s unemployment statistics beat the hell out of the rest of the nation. That’s  because we’re number 1.

My compadre at crime fighting, Martin Mead, won a drunk driving trial yesterday using the theme “close enough is not good enough”. I was fighting for application of the theory “a grain of sand on the scales of justice don’t mean beyond a reasonable doubt” but I wasn’t there, so  . . .

Maureen has sent more photos which will be posted in their proper time.

According to Molly I failed to mention Cali our Calico cat who is here. I did fail to mention her because she is what is known as a “no count cat” and thus I am prohibited from counting her. I wanted to, just couldn’t.

Our rabid cat continues on his furious stage which he has been in since birth.

06-18-09 :

Maureen took a picture of Ankara or Ankora or Kankersore, Turkey, and here it is.

At least it is warm out, but rain is on its way.

I’m home alone but with Caitlin, Bunner, Black Bud, Cow, and Lizzie.

Here are some photos of my’79 ND Law class - I’m not in the pictures because I look like this.

Ok, maybe I don’t. Who are you to say?

06-17-09 :

Today I have internet. Who’s to figure.

Maureen made it to Turkey; Mag called her at her hotel which is apparently lovely. Here it is rainy. Will the rain ever end?? I think not.

Did you listen to Popa Chubby yet? Did you make it happen yet? Are you an R-Tard? If not, make it happen. Conversely, if you don’t make it happen you are an R-Tard.

06-16-09 :

I went out briefly but then returned to watch a family movie called the Devil’s Rejects. It is a lovely movie about the ties that make a family important.

Speaking of the circle of life, in the Devil’s Rejects that actor Danny Iello or whatever, who is a badass MF with tatoos all over, he is in the movie trying to kill off the Rejects, and he is also in Sherry Baby which I am watching now, and he was also in Breaking Bad as The Turtle Who Got Blowed Up In The Desert. If that is not a circle of life, then what is?

I don’t have internet and am too worn to repair it this second. But I continue to update this page.

The heatwave continues. There have been thousands left dead through the midwest. Flies and bugs are everywhere, and the stench could fill a small vacuum bottle. The animals have come out of the woodlands and are feeding on the dead. The dead have come out and are feeding on the living. It is really quite a site. Unfortunately gas prices are up so many will be denied the opportunity to view the carnage.

06-15-09 :

I drove to Detroit Airport to drop Mag’s mom off for a flight to turkey. I wore my lucky hat. I have never had a ticket while wearing it. As I mentioned earlier (remember, earlier is further down the page) Maureen left me for an international trip to Turkey. She left out of Detroit’s airport also, so I was able to kill several birds with one rock.

06-14-09 :

Maureen is leaving me. More on this later.

Apparently the current rage in marriages is to go to Nevada and get married in outer space. In typing that, I wonder if it comes from marry ages ? Anyhow, the Vegas shift is in the air - I can feel it - Yeah! Viva Las Vegas.

Up until this point I have been a strong and powerful advocate for Phil Spector.

I cannot support him anymore. Not after seeing this :

From these pictures I deduce that he has in the past worn a wig. At his trial by jury. Couldn’t he shave his head and play the “Pity me - I may have cancer” card?” Or just cut it real short. Or even a god damned comb-over. But NOT A WIG! Not in front of a jury.

Tom’s Tip #1 for a client in front of a judge or jury: Be yourself -  work with what you have.

This does not mean adding wigs, elevated shoes, and lots of bling. as a matter of fact, I would recommend against loud bling or makeup.

So he goes to court like this:    : “The Kate Look”

Phil couldn’t even keep to that one simple rule. What the hell does he expect is going to happen? Did he notice any of the jurors - a single one - wearing different wigs on different days? One day he’s got a ‘fro, the next day sort of “contemporary short/long” and the jury keeps looking at those mug shots, over and over, and mention to one another that he didn’t look like he was only 4’3” and  maybe he wasn’t lying when he informed the police “I think I just shot someone.” Like that French guy, Raphael or Nappy Leon or whatever that rapper or whatever was.

Plus, as in additionally, he is 4’5” or some such ridiculously short height. Is this a man to look up to? Or down at? Really. Check and mate.

Flag Day. As Jimi said, “A flag a day keeps the groundhogs out of the garbage cans out back by the cars.” Jimi OD’d from drugs. But I guess that was pretty obvious. Speaking of bad Kung Fu, “Check this out.”   t”That’s Grasshopper alright. He’s just not living there.

Maybe Jimi said he’d let his freak flag fly. Maybe Grasshopper said “I’ll pay you to choke me. Please.” But you know what is cool about that whole scenario? Neither one of them is from Canadia. Oh, maybe they went to Canadia once, or flew a large maple leaf flag (get the connection???) but they weren’t Jim Carey Canadian, or Avril Canadian, or even Eugene Levi Canadian. But you know who is Canadian and totally cool and rad?

Me neither. That’s the point.

Canadia is filled up with bears. You know this if you read my blog religiously, because it is right and it is good. Fact - no person has ever been injured by a bear. But if an injury were to occur, it might look like these:

That last one is Scratchcooch, rarely spotted in the wilds.

Apparently the gas station attendant in Texas who said to then recently appointed President Bush, “Those bastards should be tortured” is subject to civil liability.

Apparently Molly wants to go to Somaliland and have a pirate wedding - you know, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, Peaches Geldhoff and the whole thing.

06-13-09 :

Molly and Osama are engaged. Congrats!

A priest and a rabbi are standing at a corner. A young kid walks up, bends over to tie his show, and the priest says “Let’s screw him!” and the rabbi says “Out of what?”

What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? My bike.

The Pope was a Nazi.

Kim Yung Makesme Ill is going to build more bombs. He is so clever. We should send him some cloths he could use to polish them and keep them real nice looking.

06-12-09 :

GHW Bush is 248 years old today - Happy Birthday! Remember the Alamo (literally).

Maureen is getting ready for her trip to Turkey. I am not up to the travels so won’t be going. I will instead hold down the fort (Alamo, fort, get it?) and wait for people to make it happen.

06-10-09 :

Today’s big news of course is that Molsen has cut off retirees from free beer. My god. What next?

Also, the dioscese of Cleveland Ohio has put out a call for it’s members to make it happen, reminding us to think WTFWJD and asking us to all ponder that during mass this month.

We are getting reports that Ireland’s education involves more than just physical education these days. According to, of course, the Ryan Report. That’s right. You read it here first. We have a report named after us.

Yesterday Shell Oil found out that for under 56 million dollars they can hire assassination crews to take down those who think clean oil is a myth.

Speaking of conscious decisions, don’t forget that shame is in your head and most people could care less about you and what you have done, so don’t worry about it. Unless of course you did kill people, in which case they may have survivors who are slow to forgive. Like Holocost survivors or Afrikaners from apartheid South Africa.

I still am in the market for a small, backward country looking for a kind dictator. Resume will be online shortly. I am hoping for a water view, so keep that in mind. But not a view of Japan. I still harbor resentment over Pearl Harbor (see how I used the same word in different contexts there? I am so clever.)

06-09-09 :

I was tired today. My friend came over and we played guitar. I let him discover Popa Chubby’s “Back Door Man” which I’m sure you all know but it is a pretty hip version of a song of yesteryear.

News of the day is here. Bunner is nesting inside the bed. I went on YouTube and listened to Gordon Lightfoot and Peter Paul and Mary singing “That’s what you get” which is also a nice song. Watching Lightfoot reminds me of Canada. Oh, how I miss it. I haven’t been there for days.

Have you made it happen yet? Are you an R-tard? If the answer to both is “NO” then get a clue and get onboard the fastest moving train out of Lonesomeview Junction to Makeafriend Canyon today!

I am about to publish a list of those who haven’t made it happen yet. Do you want to be on that list?

I have been formally diagnosed with hair cancer. It appears my only chance is if more people can make it happen so I can join a hare club with bunny. Help me, Obi Wan, you’re my only hope. Oh yeah, I am calling you Obi Wan now, until you make it happen.

06-08-09 :

So much has happened, it will be hard to sum it all up.

First of all, I went to Canadia to fish. We saw a momma bear with 3 cubs, and all in all say about 10 bears of various sizes. Also saw around 7 bald eagles (hey, ever hear of the Hair Club for Hair?), a fox, a swimming mink, and caught fish. Fished with John and Peter Zadvinskis, Dave Wood, Martin Mead and myself.

THEN, immediately after returning to the US of A, I went to South Bend Indiana for my law school reunion, where I saw people I hadn’t seen in 30 years. They hadn’t seen me either but had survived also. Duane Tarnacki and Tim Bemis apparently hooked up and weren’t there, but Dan McNeil and Dave Evinger and Debbie Griffith were there, so the only housemate who didn’t show was Mark Olive. I learned that an Israeli spy was in my first year class but now he is in prison. I also learned that Indiana stops serving booze at 1 am. About one-third of the class made it, but Peggy Foran who works at Sara Lee changed her name to Peggy Lee and didn’t show. But her sister was there, so I got all filled in on the ‘haps’.

THEN I returned to EGR where I slept for a day. That brings me to today. Not much happened yet today. So nothing to report. Therefore I will sigh off now.

05-31-09 :

J Lo told a Japanese reporter about how her life changed when she made it happen:        

It is a beautiful story and difficult to read and impossible to translate, so just trust us - her life changed for the better.

05-30-09 :

For a quick insight into the average American from around GR, look no further than here. I guess I had forgotten what Jon Johansen’s thoughts of long hair were. I thought the 60s were a long time ago, but I was wrong.

There may be some confusion. I never taught my children to give the finger. That would be irresponsible. I did, though, teach them to give A finger (not THE) finger) and so I look at myself as a pretty responsible person and father. Who wouldn’t in these circumstances?

Phil Spector got around 15 years for doing what he has always done. This seems sort of wrong to me. I have noticed that in the last several days there have been many murder convictions in these parts. Wow - that was from when the economy was great. What can we expect now?

05-28-09 :

OK, that was mean. I can get the care; I just can’t travel to get it. So, now all who have not worked hard to make it happen should feel better. You could always look here for more web pages.

Michigan is trying to be the battery capital of the world, to supply Michigan car plants with batteries. HEY! OUR CARS DON’T RUN ON BATTERIES!  But, to be fair, I did some pretty extensive research on batteries, and learned that Ben Franklin invented the word, and if that isn’t American, then go back to whatever foreign sovereignty you claim as home, because he wrote dictionaries and invented all sorts of words. So, he used the kite and bottle, and you know the story. Anyhow, the guy named after volts (like 12 volts) Volta did some work on batteries, but so did Thomas Edison, and there is a replica of his workshop at (wait for it) Dearborn Village, and Henry Ford Museum. You are aware that Ford and IBM helped and supported the Nazis, right? Like the ex-Ford employee who retired very recently back to Germany? So Edison also did work on the battery - the alkaline battery. Now we’re talking Eveready Bunny batteries, and who could question the American roots he has? Bunnies grow up on our continent!!! And Bell Labs created photovoltaic cells, so your car could run off the sun, which is hydrogen, which is about a third of what oxygen is, and we have lots of that because it is as American as apple strudel. 

Now we’re going to hear that someone who approaches something as a Puerto Rican is a bigot. It’s always got to be something.

05-25-09 :

I watched a TV show, Breaking Bad, last night, and it made me think about life and how to make it happen. Did you know that I can’t get medical care unless people send money? Cash, that is. Pay-Pal may need verification so that’s out. So, the main think is to let you know that the guilt you will have may be dissipated if you simply send money. There. I have said it. I have told you how to reduce your guilt and feel better about yourself, which makes me feel better but not as better as I will feel if and when you do send your money. There.

Want to see what left? Here     :

For the vets, happy VD day!

For North Korea : Sanctions won’t do anything. This would:

HaHaHa. Little Mr. Little Penis exploded his little crappy version of a bomb he doesn’t need and he can’t use and he wasted all that money. What a maroon.

Ridicule the idiot. Don’t give him the joy of thinking he has really upset anyone. Ridicule him for a day then just ignore him.

And if he actually does something, show him what a real nuke can do with a real missile guiding it.

Problem solved.

05-23-09 :

It turns out that Fluffy is a homersexual and so we can’t keep her. Plus, we think that it got bit by a bat and probably is rabid, has fleas, ticks, works including heart worm and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, or Febre as they say in Mexicacao. So, Fluffy is really about the worst “cat” if you can really call her that, there ever was, and won’t stand a chance out in the wild with boomer-sign all over the place. Anyhow, Fluffy had bat parts all over her. Talk about gross - she had 144 parts on her, and that is a gross.

The bat was apparently only wounded, as at 2 am last night I was awakened and told to “deal with it” which, without a bat-type toolkit it is rather hard to do, so I had to use a jacket to cover it. Did you know bats make a clicking noise? I thought they used RADAR which is silent, but apparently they use clickers to identify where they are. You see, bats can’t see. They are blind as a bat, which is where the expression bat comes from anyhow. Bats, which were first discovered in 1874 in Yuma, Arizona in a small cave, are recently evolved from moles, which don’t even have eyes. No molusks have eyes. If bats could swim they could use SONAR, but they can’t swim either. Basically apparently all they can do is hop around and click. Maybe the clicking actually is a calling for foodstuffs. I don’t know.

The Ted Stevens Memorial Federal Prison isn’t even made yet - talk about shovel-ready!

Did you know that Michelle Obamabigbuilding may have been part in an involuntary abortion at the grotto? Neither did I until I just read it. Wow. I am surprised. I wonder if Bristol Palin will go to St. Mary’s or Notre Dame, or just Alaska Community College. See, there is a community there.

I also learned today that Adolf Hitler was from Yidland and was fluent Yiddish. Who would have figured.

05-22-09 :

I have concluded that there is only one governor with the cahoones to deal with the Gitmo transferees. And of course I mean the hockey-mom lipstick putbull that is Sarah Palin.. She could name the facility after the ex-senator who was convicted using Bush-era tactics, then released by Obama Bigbuilding.

One of my neighbors is getting a sign in his yard “ FOR SALE BY NEIGHBOR”. I will use a sign that takes both hands to remove, to preserve it.

Our new cat Fluffy continues to fill the void left when Yaz moved out or ran away or got hit by a car or bit by a bat or whatever. Did you know I had to murder a bat last night? When I noticed 3 cats all facing the same way, I looked and behold - the bat on the wall. Thank god I used to play racquet ball so I had the appropriate weapon of choice to use against bats - inertia.

I continue to update random pages here. If there is a page not here that you want here, let me know and we can make it happen.

My software is not perfect and I am working on what is wrong. I may have to split this page up by week or month or some such.

The Tom Mix search thing didn’t work but will Grant Kassischke? Time will tell. Or is it Kasischke? My spelling is so bab.

People from high school I am curious about - Ben Upton (John is on facebook); Bill Trefry; Linda Roti (Roti Motors - she always had a new car, duh); probably a couple others I forget. I hear Steve Cunningham died recently - I figured he and Trefry had died years ago.

Did you ever hear the expression “Scared Shitless”? That is sort of an oxymoron because fright causes the Tijuana Trickles, if you catch my drift. But I am close to Nogales.  Oh yeah, I went there. So, what is that all about?

Hodding Carter had debt problems. He only made like 42k/year for his whole household. I thought he was big in politics. Hmmm. Maybe it is Holling Carter. I know it is a Carter, but not like June Carter Cash Carter, more like Carter has pills Carter.

I am going fishing in Canada in a few weeks. Need a fish? Catch one! Hahahahaha. There is a big debate on where to put Gitmo terrorists. I say give me about 25 billion bux and I will put them in my garage. No problem. Fixed. Solved. There - that was easy. Shovel ready, too.

Will this heat ever stop? It is in the 70s today. Good for greenhouse gasses, I guess.

Speaking of heat, the Hot Tamale Tigers surrendered.

05-19-09 :

Today I learned that EDD means an advanced degree of Eating at Dunkin Donuts. And  I didn’t know that.

Today is one of the first warm days we have had here in Michigan. Still 20-30 degrees cooler than I would like.

05-16-1965 : Big Bang proven. What’s next, the Big Bong?

Ok, anyhow . . . today I shot at what I thought was a rabbit. It was an ice cream truck. They look pretty similar.

    vs  

Well, anyhow, I hid inside so I never got to talk to the police working the streets a while after I went inside. Speaking of which, did you know Maureen installed a new doorbell? It’s true, and I have failed to hear it at least once. And no, don’t worry, I didn’t kill the squirrel - I got the truck just 2 windows to the left of the words “ICE CREAM” that you can see. Frankly that guy shouldn’t have been driving - he drove into a pole right after I shot. That’s a dangerous driver, if you ask me. Probably drunk. As a matter of fact, I just read he was probably drunk, so that is now two sources that he was drunk, so I am now reporting that he was drunk.

Yesterday I took my guitar to a store that sold Taylor guitars, because mine is falling apart as you read, or as I type, or probably actually both.  I was told that all guitars have this great failure to endure dry huidity as apparently Tucson has in the ... winter? I thought that was when it was humid and rainy. Maybe it’s just my perception, which failed me once before. Like when I thought you would help make it happen. Which you didn’t. Now how do you feel? So it looks like my guitar may get sent in to get fixed/replaced.

We also went to a couple antique “stuff” places. I almost got a cane and two boxes. I collect canes and boxes. Did you know that? I got a cane in Cuba htat is really nice except the bottom where the rubber meets the road lost the rubber, so now it is metal meeting the road, which is loud and maybe slippery.

The stray cat we took in is doing fine. Her way of dealing with physical intimidation is to run as fast as she can past the obstacle. It’s pretty funny. Almost as funny as her tail.

05-14-09 :

Back from the Cleveland Clinic where I found out my breathing is basically stable from 2 years ago, but now there are spots on my lungs, meaning I go back for either a CT scan or a PET scan shortly. CT stands for computerized tomography. PET stands for Partially Emalguatonous Tom.

I was watching a “feel-good’ movie the other day called The Devil’s Rejects. It is a family film I strongly recommend, especially for young kids, because it has a clown and we all know how much kids love clowns. It also stars the man who was the boss of CHIPs, so you know it is good.

Did I mantion that my Taylor DN3 has a huge crack on the back now? I am so bummed - I haven’t played guitar since I found that out.

Yesterday I saw something on the road  - it was an Oldsmobile. That is a car they used to make a long time ago. Wow - talk about nostalgia.

They are going to consolidate at Chrysler/Plymouth/Dodge  - it will be the Crodglouth - what a classy name for a car company.

The Make It Happen Foundation is reporting that this quarter has not been great. I am so sad because of this, because it will mean that you won’t know a million people who are friends who know a millionaire who has a million friends of which you are one, and that makes me a sad panda.

I know someone who wears a Jimmy John’s hat to work now. Guess where he/she/they work. Did you guess Texaco? Wrong! Plus apparently they are real serious about how much of this and that to get a tasty sandwich.

I am getting a scientific recreation of the hobbit man lawyer as he would have looked 15,000 years ago or whatev. Here is a link for the raw data.

I have sort of discovered that Google is scanning my site. If your name is here, it will show on Google apparently. Here is an experiment. Tom Mix was a classmate of mine in 7th grade who was killed in a car crash. If you google Tom Mix will this page show up? Or will you get a page about Harry Cary Sr? Who knows?

05-05-09 :

Happy Sicko De Mayo.

05-03-09 :

Re-did the whole computer thing again - drag. “Warm today” means about 55 degrees, which is some 20-30 degrees cooler than I would prefer.

04-30-09

Back in cold, wet, sloppy, dirty Michigan again. Yuck. Forgot some of my meds, so breathing will be tough for a month.  Everyone but me is terrified about some flying pig flew. Answers the question about when some pandemic will strike - “When pigs fly.” Much worse than what is spread by whores flies.

Plus, I can’t even find all my guitars here. Not that I need them - I have one or 2 fine ones, and my Taylor is on its way from Arizona. I have no personal auto here! I have my moped, but it is raining, so that’s sort of out of the question.

We have a visiting cat, Yaszmina, named I guess after some birth control product. She is afraid of seemingly everything and just hides under the bed. Not much of a life it seems to me, plus the cat is a long haired cat who can’t really care for herself very well.

04-24-09 :

Bye Pontiac. I really like the Pontiac (and Saturn) 2-seaters. Did you know Pontiac hired a guy from BMW who designed that car, then the next year they let him go. Downsizing I guess. Of the only person there with imagination.

Speaking of which, remember the Irish car DeLorean? What is his connection with Ford and the GTO? Remember the Knudsen front end that Ford got when Knudsen moved from Pontiac to Ford? Really? You do??? Tell me about this - I had never heard of any of this. I grew up in a Pontiac house (so did my friend Grant). Now I’m a Mercury sort of guy. Except for my Daimler-Chrysler car.

Did you know the Airstream etc. were made out of old airplane bodies? Speaking of recycling, I want to know why we can’t put old tires, metal, garbage, paint, insecticides, and the like, into active volcanos? They are basically the earth’s incinerators. I witnessed their awsome power on an episode of South Park (man/bear/pig??). Talk about crushing an orange and getting Orange Crush.

I found out today I have been using an expression incorrectly. I thought it was “take a lemon and get aids” but apparently it is take a lemon and make AIDS. Or some such. One of my high school friends had an older brother who was one of the first in the nation diagnosed with AIDS - Turtle was his nickname. Guess he should have kept his head in his shell, eh? That’s what homeopathics do, though. Like home schooling for medical conditions.

Did you see the Lisa Rinna playboy pics? She’s 73 years old and really looks great for her years. Is she a GMILF? or a GGMILF? Some are comparing her to Sharon Stone in terms of animal-like behaviours. Dunno. I think they may be more tasteful than Amy Winehouse’s recent topless beach photos. Just me, maybe. Wasn’t there a character on Arrested Development named Mae Bea? Maybe she was named after Aunt Bea from Andy of Mayberry and Ellie Mae from the Beverly Hillbillys. Yep, you read that first here.

NPR’s Science Friday was dealing with homopathetic cures for diseases. Again, “dunno” because it seems anti-intuitive to me. I have always wanted to call a call-in show just to say “Long time caller, first time listener.”

Have you decided to Make It Happen? Do you even know what that is all about? Or are you a mamby-pamby who can’t follow links to develop true spirituality and oneness with the environment? No, you are above the fray. You like to keep it real. You call ‘em as you see ‘em and you don’t need someone to prove that you have the capacity to do the right thing in the right circumstances. So, make it happen now.

04-23-09 :

Quiet day here. Woke up to very cold weather and had to turn on the heater outside - it was actually below 70 when I got up. Brrrrrr. Low 90s today. At least I know Michigan will be as warm and fuzzy - not like snow fuzzy but like a comfortable blanket cozy fuzzy.

Did you know I was a tailback in high school football? It’s true, and here is the photo to prove it:

04-22-09 :

Octomom’s OB hasn’t commented on whether she is a marsupial. This raises serious questions on whether the ASPCA should get involved. Does that stand for the American Society for Prevention of Children Abortions? I may be thinking of People for the Ethical Termination of Abortionists.

Hmmm. Thought I had entered something here earlier. I have been doing some updating of older pages. For example on some of my views on political ‘stuff’.

Are cloven hoofed animals called so because they eat clover? Is The Devil a cloven-footed beast? Can jews eat Deviled Eggs? You tell me.

So, anyhow, today there was a cub Gila Bear on the porch. It looks very similar to the customary Suagaro Bears around these parts, but it is much thinner and shorter. I don’t know how they get along with the javelinas (sp???) but can’t imagine a fight between them.

Rumsfeld released a statement today. Want to know what he said?

04-21-09 :

Chrysler execs refused government money because they wouldn’t take a paycut. Better to make nothing from a defunct company than to take less from a surviving company? Who are they really looking out for?

Changes in search and seizure laws regarding drivers in the squad car. And girls who advertise on Craig’s list for in-hotel massages may want to rething their behavior as it may lead to death by murder. Some blame CraigsList. I blame American Psycho.

It has been reported that Octomom may be a marsupial. This story will be followed closely.

A girl from Stafford Arizona was on the radio today trying to explain why trained educators shouldn’t be able to investigate allegations that she had distributed aspirin without a permit on school property. Hey, take it to the Supreme Court! Oh, she did. Well, anyhow, be aware that strip searches on teen girls will be declared OK or NO-K by the US S Ct in the future. There’s some ick factor there.

Apparently Cheney doesn’t like the Truth and Reconcilliation Hearings caused by release of torture documents, naming names. Now the former VP is “calling” on someone to release the good secret government documents on how much was solved via the “lock box” techniques used by the former administration. Maybe the world’s view of the US is somehow above the desires of some torturers.

A pirate was taken to jail today - he’s very young.       Pesky Somalian Pirates.

04-20-09 :

What do you think the Sean Connery James Bond would name the vagina of Octomom?

I am depressed. I did not win a Pulitzer this year. Other awards I did not win include: McArthur Genius Award, Darwin Award, Golden Globe, Oscar, Emmy, MTV Music Award, Cherry Pit Spitting Champion. What did YOU win today?

Today NPR did a view of legalization of marijuana, but I have forgotten about what the results were. But I will say that since Barak Obama Bigbuilding used crack, apparently there is a sea change in ... what was I saying? Did you say something?

Global warming continues to warm up Arizona - high 90s, 100s tomorrow, sleep with windows open. I did get a chance to scare a pair of racoons last night. As a result of global warming, climate change, population growth, improved road systems and the ERA, there are a lot of animals moving out west that really belong in the midwest, such as racoons, crows, bees, flies, mosquitos, and quite likely others. At least that pesky jaguar problem has been resolved.

04-19-09 :

J.D. Salinger died. For more on a dead author, looky here.

Did anyone use Pirate Gay for file sharing? This was a bad week for convictions - Specter and the Gay Pirate guilty. The Iranian spy from “America” - treasonous as demonstrated in a court o flaw. 

I am sure that the temperature in Michigan  is the equivalent, but it is going to be 97 tomorrow. As I have been complaining of global climate change it will come to no surprise that I believe this entire Arizona Desert is attributable to some sort of global climate change. There. I said it. I went there.

Because everyone just experienced “4-15” we have run some utilities based on your IP address, your DNS and your computer ID signature what your credit rating is.

‘93 - Waco, ‘95 - Oklahoma City Bombing. Anniversary time. Columbine tomorrow. When was that VA Tech thing? Before you let your sorrows get in the way, let’s consider the plight of the postal worker.

It used to be “going postal”. That was THE way do define the problem. Not that guns had nothing to do with it. But now it seems the postal workers ‘can’t get no respect’ as Rodney King tried to say. They are going to get cut back from 6 or 7 days a week to just 5. Imagine that. We might have to wait another day. Bummer. So then they also get their ‘trademark expression’ sort of reduced to rubble? This is not what America was made of. Make It Happen. If you are not exactly sure what that means, then go click the click. Try it. You’ll like it.

04-18-09 :

Apparently the restore was successful. Speaking of which, did you ever talk with someone who claimed to know how to Make It Happen but never even clinked the link? Sadly, apparently some readers have done just that. I am baffled sometimes by the “shortcuts” people take. One of my beliefs (you will read it again on this site) is that it is important to take the time to smell the ragweeds. While I know that there are goals and jobs that have a due date, but when I hear someone say they never do x,y, or yes, even W, because they don’t have time. Hey, they got time to use toilet paper, they got time to click a couple links sometimes. Alternatively, if they don’t use toilet paper, might I suggest they reflect on the poetry of William Butler Keats, who wrote:

Here I sit, broken hearted,

tried to shit, and only farted.

Now, here is something you don’t hear every day - the conclusion to that poem, as elucidated in the Oxford Definitive Works Of William Butler Keats:

Came back for a second chance,

tried to fart, and shit my pants.

I wonder why there are no American poets who can turn a word like the Brits. Oops, I did it again. Hit me baby. I’m stronger than yesterday.

As some of you may already know, our pledge drive is running behind, so we have set a goal for this week. We are hoping to get $23,000 this week. Make It Happen. Remember, only you can prevent forest fires, and only you can do what you need to do to do that. So, get on with it.

Maureen got some photos from when I was in law school, which I’ll post soon.

04-17-09 :

Updates will be slow the next few days because I am going to re-set up my laptop which got infected the other day. While you wait for updates, let me ask you to consider the differences between the Hubble effect and the Doppler effect. And relax - I was able to find last week’s Breaking Bad and watched it. Did you know the kid who is the drug dealer friend of Mr. Whie was also one of the young lads in the remake of Last Home on the Right? It’s like spending time with an old friend. Sort of like your experience here. Make It Happen.

04-16-09 :

Apparently Bush took Gore’s lockbox and used it to torture detainees by putting caterpillars and detainees in the same lockbox because apparently non-Americans are afraid of caterpillars and think they are deadly. Or surf boarding detainees. Maybe Charlie don’t surf, but Detainee does. Of course it’s just stimulated. That means it is not real. It is virtually virtual.

My old guitar has seen its last days for my use. It needs the neck reset, which I’m sure you could easily do because you are clever and good at things like resetting guitar necks, but it’s more than I want to invest. That’s ok; I’ll use it as a decorative piece perhaps. It’s a 40 year old Yamaha and looks nice. But it has scoliosis.

My computer has malware - Yoog search engine won’t go away. Some have had to do a system restore. Blech.

After much research, and some experimentation, I am going to do a complete and total restoration. Allegedly back to the state it was in when shipped with all OEM softwares, etc. Then uninstall the junk and reinstall the programs. Then reproduce the data files. My mail file is over a meg of size, so it will take time to copy that. Plus all my docs. I was careless. “My bad.”

Two of the largest malls in Tucson filed for bankruptcy today, as they owe 26 billion from a leveraged buy-out a few years ago. Expect more of these leveraged purchases from the last few years to blow up in our faces. Ouch!

Banks are trying to repay the bailout monies so they can give big bonuses to themselves without having new taxes made.

Iran may be trying to enrich uranium, according to international inspectors from the E.I.E.I.O.

NPR reports that the Charlotte’s Web of Style, Strunk and White, is 50 today, and to celebrate, 5th 3rd Stadium in Comstock Park MI had a hamburger that has the caloric equivalent of 9 Big Macs. Yuck.

Anthony and Cleopatra found! Ask your local cigar salesclerk at the local drugstore. I am for either making alcohol and tobacco illegal or making a whole slew of things legal. Would it help the drug wars in Mexico if some of those drugs were legal and the state was getting tax dollars off them?

04-15-09 :

The Make It Happen Floundation is dedicated to the preposition “to” as in Make It Happen to become a member of the fastest growing family of pledges who have individually flocked together in the one belief that we all share, regardless of Creed or color. We don’t have to walk in conventional steps to step into conventions of others who are like us, who share the same common personal individual shared goal, which is to Make It Happen.

I started watching the remake of Last House on the Right. I think it may star the singer or daisy mae duke  Jessica Hahn or Simpson or whatever it is. Or maybe it was that Buffalo Girl from The O.C. Anyhow, it is a good portrayal of the fun a trio of kids can have when they’re out and about making friends and showing their appreciation for kindness. Ok, so I have seen the whole thing now. Much is changed. For those of you who saw the original one, no it does not happen in this one. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, it is because you never saw the movie and really technically shouldn’t be reading this. But between you and me, we can overlook that. But you should see the original one first, so you can compare how the 2nd one stacks up.

I don’t know why, but these last few seconds I have been thinking about sort of really not very attractive people, such as Par Par (pronounced “pear pear”)  Hilton or that one from Sex in the City who is married to that “Joshua’s still playing the game” guy?

Vocal training lesson coming up. First impressions are critical. Don’t let them convince you otherwise. But the thing is, you are nervous at the impending introduction to one/some who doesn’t know you at all. What is the single most important thing you can do? Have an introduction that is what might be called “euphonious” or pleasant to the ear. I think that this means having a memorable, polished demeanor, and  I think that the way people vocalize is as important as the birds vocalize, the chipmunks do, the vampire hawks do, so do you and I. Therefore it is important to introduce ones’ self to another so as to make a great impression. And who could do it better than Sean Connery introducing that English spy guy. You know, Whatshisname, James Whatshisname? Oh, wait, here it is . . .

BOND. JAMES BOND.

Now, would it not be the greatest if you could sound like that? And here’s the thing - you can. But you can’t use that name, because basically everybody has heard it time and time again so no one will believe it is you. And that’s a shame. Bond. James Bond. How cool.

I have been considering this lesson plan carefully over time, and I think I have come up with something believable and sellable. You can be a new you! Make It Happen. And in the meantime, “Strange. Barry Strange.”   <<==  USE NAME FOR GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION

I think it is safe to say that if you take some friendly advice and use that introduction people will be impressed and they will remember you.

Oh - ALSO, before I forget it. If you know someone who is putting on a couple pounds and you don’t want to sound rude, simply look at him or her, smile, and announce, “You’ve grown!” because personal growth is what we all strive for. But you have to put it in the middle of other phrases, such as, “You have come so far these last couple years. You have really made something of yourself. You’ve expanded your horizons and you’ve grown.” See how you snuck that on there at the end? You are taking lemons and making lemon aide. Or potatoes and french fries. Are french fries served with american cheese? And why would ‘french’ be ok but not ‘american’ cheese? So many questions. Let’s find out. Let’s Make It So.

I have learned that there is a group of Pirates in Pittsburgh. I am hoping that some military muscle will be demonstrated so they go back to the west coast of Africa. What next? Making fun of Native Americans by naming some sports franchise after them? Animals? Where will it end? Stop this species gentrification now, at Pirates, before those others get taken up by someone. 

Today was one of those days nothing seems to go right. Last night after the growl problems, my gas heater thingy ran out of gas, so I had to go out and get more gas The wind picked up. Animals ate seedlings. Tax day, crummy software, several calls between family members. Have to clean up. No mail except one real junk thing. Calls from telesalesexperts via recorded statements (it always sounds like the same lady). Received a FAX into the FAX without enough ink. It’s getting cold (hey, if it is in the 40s and yesterday it was in the 80s that’s getting cold). Phones aren’t working properly. Can’t figure if I’m entering or embrasing the end of “Act 3” and I don’t live like that anyway. Can’t get Breaking Bad online yet. Put a new USB hub in my computer and then couldn’t print. Forced to enter stuff here because otherwise people complain (although if they haven’t even TRIED to Make It So I really don’t think they have much room for complaining).  Then one of the squirrels here tried to go into the bird food. “Don’t go there, squirrel friend.” Whew. I guess I had to blow off some steam!

I used the wrong software for my taxes - H$R Block’s software is, in my humble opinion, awful. Having bought it, used it to efile, I am downloading TaxAct which works better for me. I will have to file an amended return (oh well) but at least I will be able to figure out where I am in the actual forms. The Internet is slow as a person giving money to a government tonight. And for FASFA purposes I have to get this TAX stuff done right. Oh Cwap, as Homestar Runner would say.

Instead of using warships, I thought the government was going to use whatever Blackwater became. (Alticorp?) (When you’re in the corp, you’re part of a family of God, Corp, Country. As opposed, I guess, to an army of one.) I never liked the Army of One ads, because it seems to me that the whole thing about armed conflict is to work together, chain of command and all that. The exact opposite of an army of one. If it is 240,000 against a couple of the enemy, that seems like decent odds for us, but if it is me, alone, my own army of one, against say 45 angry opponents, then I’m not feeling too good. After complaining on this site I went to NPR and bitched that they hadn’t looked at the Bush/Amway connections.

I hope you spend enough time on this site to get a grip on what all is here. While there is much to do, much has been done. I am in the process of moving some pages around so it is possible things look different because maybe they are.

I missed Breaking Bad on Sunday. Darn. It isn’t on AMC’s homepage either.

I had planted a couple of annual plants but the birds ate the seedlings. Lots of birds these days. The hawk is hiding; the roadrunner ran away, but the grackles are back and have a beautiful series of loud calls.

Germany retaliates for Ford employee retirement plans, calls in media star to deal with situation.

The noise may have been a bobcat!

Here are some of the sights around these parts. I will have to look much more carefully tomorrow, as I can’t tell if it is a really thin racoon who can jump with the grace of a cat, or a cat with a HUGE fluffy tail. Well, a definite racoon was just here, so that is what it probably is. I’ll keep my eyes open. If he returns tomorrow I will name him 4 socks, a striped mitten and a mask.

Mmmkay, let’s talk about Mmmbai, where apparently the court thinks the rights of the sole remaining shooter in that hotel “incident” to be free from a potential conflict are above his right to a speedy trial.

04-14-09 :

I didn’t know that Ebay owns Skype, did you?

The International Community gave a harsh warning to North Korea, “Wait till your father gets home. We’re going to tell him.” The loathed pigmy quickly began to disassemble his nuclear capabilities.

Are you prepared to become a red mercury exporter? Saudi Arabia apparently has decided they are a fictitious. What do you think? Is a salesman who has never made a sale a salesman?

I was sitting on my porch this evening and kept on hearing strange sounds. Then a grapefruit fell and I was like Tom Hanks in “Wilson and I on the Island”. Finally I perceived I was hearing an animal growling. It is very dark on the porch, with a couple good places for an animal to hide. I decided that what with the 65 km/hr breeze, I would just go inside. I got inside to hear the President announce that the nation would have to focus on educating dogs on how to swim, as “they have to be taught”. No Dog Left Sinking. Some might argue that swimming is an inherent ability. Others would suggest that some types of animals have solid bones so they sink. As for me, I’m too old, got no dog in the fight, and can’t be taught a new trick, so don’t ask me.

Today Ford Motor Company, which has a long-standing, strong and good relationship with Jews and retirement, has implemented new rules that will allow one of its retired workers to move to Isreal. This is one of the reasons Ford hasn’t signed up for federal funds - that might limit such charitable “perks” to the worker in question. The public can’t go nuts over these perks. Dearborn will have more room for immigrating Islamist. The real question is who will get the right to the Chrysler 300?

Did you ever see another site I had?  

Today we were informed by the proper sources that Mike Vick is NOT the source of the White House Dogs. While we can’t decide why to even link the name, Vick was quoted by reliable sources as muttering “I ain’t got no dog in that fight.” The true source remains unclear, with some suggesting Eddie Kennedy. Or is it Theodore Kennedy? I can’t keep those two apart for some reason. I’m talking about the one that National Lampoon ran the ad about, with a VW floating in the Chappipidioqueee or whatever, with a banner “If Senator Kennedy had driven one of these, he’d be president today” which was actually sort of funny in a morbid sort of way, what with them capitalizing on the death of a women. Ask yourself the inevitable question, “What would Ron Goldman Do?” and Make It Happen.  This last link is really to just keep you on your toes. You know less than you imagine, don’t you? So anyway, it has been mentionede that this Kennedy person was involved in this dog trade.

Today is going to be around 80 degrees, tomorrow about 60. When will this global climate change end? BTW, here are some photos of where I stay in the winter.

I live near Biodome II, which has been the subject of movies. After serving as the stage for perhaps one of the better movies of its time, it was taken over by a man from Texas who developed it to possibly look at how to dispose of garbage and waste in an ecological manner. All Hell Broke Loose when a group that was supposed to live in a sealed society for a couple years had personality conflicts the likes of which remind me of the Astronut who drove to Florida wearing a space-suit diaper. So, the group decided to get some fresh air and opened a vent, thereby wrecking an expensive and expansive experiment. Now the U of Arizona owns it, and it is looking at tree death rates in areas of drought and warmer temperatures. NPR had a story about it. I think they are online although they are not in my links, I don’t thinks. HA HA see how that rhymed?

Speaking of rhyme, because it is Easter time everyone is supposed to remember fondly Geoffrey Chaucer’s Cadbury Tails. And fondly recall reading the first couple of moments, or hundreds of pages, whichever you prefer, of Bleak House. Which of course recalls Michner’s tale of the Africaner problems in South Africa. And that makes me think of Neil Diamond. He hasn’t had a hit since ... Kentucky Woman? Girl, You’ll Be A Woman Soon??? In the Leo DiCaprio movie where he gets shot at the end without getting the big payday, maybe there is a Neil Diamond song about that. And the lady that starred with Leo on that uncharted island with the gun-toting gangsters? Remember her from Burn After Reading? I have seen many bad movies in my life. But there is one thing in common: A movie staring (Pauly Shore or that Chris Kutan or whatever from SNL who while ok w/ Will Farrell isn’t necessarily full star actor material, which is OK as evidenced by Jennifer Aniston or that one girl from Buffy, not preggers Buffy but that Alyson whatshername, or W. Cheerleaders maybe, but not big enough to hold the whole thing together without help of others) is gong to be a bad movie. They can’t make it on their own. Of course, we all need help. Let’s Make It Happen.

Danger Will Rogers. This software I use for this page, is acting goofy. I am losing data. This is not good.

Because of my extensive background in computer architecture, I have often wondered about product names. Using the PC as a basis, we have the x86, the AT 286, the I386, but the RU486 never took off. Or is that what we call the Pentium, or P2D2, or whatever it is? Anyhow, I use an Intel ‘mobo’ anyhow, so I guess it doesn’t matter. The 386 was the first “true multiprocessing CPU” (although the 286 had been released with that “AT” (Advanced Technology) promise of 16-bitty bits processing. Heck, if you wanted that, you got the little manual input TI/84 or whatever it was. So anyhow, studies have shown that people don’t “multitask”. They merely switch between projects. This is not unline the software I used to use, DESQview, which offered true background processing (the program(s) in the background got so many ticks, so much time, the program in the foreground getting most of the time and attention). So anyhow, when people multitask they lose the competitive edge that concentration gives and as they switch back and forth they have to “get caught up (now, where was I? Oh, yeah, here I am ...)” and this results in lost efficiency, lost time, and energy. I guess the motto is to do one thing and do it with focus and attention and you will get it done better and faster, letting you move onto the next project. This will let you get done what you must, and still have time for what you want.

I personally have found that simply repeatedly going over relatively short amounts of paper (say up to even 10-20 pages) several times a day and not in one fell long and tiresome and short-lasting last minute flood, works for remembering stuff. You can go through 20 pages of stuff in a matter of minutes, and if you do those couple minutes several times a day you just might find you are remembering. Again, focus on the task at hand with full concentration. Then put it behind you and get on with the next thing you are going to do, like play the guitar, read, study something else, watch TV, etc.

04-13-09 :

Joe DiMaggio is dead. He was preceded in death by his wife, Marilyn.

I have 2 computers. I was using the better one this winter but have switched to a laptop that will go home with me. Plus, I had that thing happen in January when I made my laptop just like it was brand new OS-wise. There is still some software in Michigan for me to install. Anyhow, I’ll start to do a little to some of the pages to make them more noisy.

Most readers of this want to know how fast a vehicle can travel through air/space/road/etc. Current physics does not permit that man travel faster than the speed of sound, because otherwise the driver couldn’t communicate with anyone because they would be in different sound zones. If you yelled out to a passing jet, and it was going faster than sound, your sound would never catch up - communication would be impossible. By using that simple exampe we can deduce and conclude that the speed of sound is a barrier beyond which man will never travel.

Jesus Christ. Thomas Wilson, J.D. out here in Tucson, is running a terrible comercial using what are probably his secretarial staff and some girls he met at a bar sitting in witness chairs, being cross-examined, then they run a letter from a neurosurgeon saying the great skills got him acquitted on all 3 drunk driving charges. I think that the BBB should have mandatory classes on how to NOT advertise.

Bobcat that bit a girl’s leg was shot in Tucson today. Pesky legs. I have pictures of wild animals.

According to a real good Michael Moore on Oprah cartoon, the NRA was started to continue the KKK. Anyhow, the thing is great on its description of the development of firearms and their use in killing people of different colors. This brings me to my view of a couple laws. First, I can’t see any reason for any semi-automatic pistol for the average you and me; nor can I see any use in semi-auto rifles, AK47s or whatever.

Sad news today. A jury wrongfully found a person responsible for a crime. Is this the face of a criminal?

First off, didn’t anyone tell the jury that he produced the final Beatles album? The Beatles. Yes. That’s right. Are the prosecutors trying to tell me the Beatles had friends who were killers? While it is true that George was civilly liable for stealing the tune of “He’s So Fine” which itself may well have been a Spector record - oh, just found out it was the Tokens (The Lion Sleeps Tonight group) that produced that one. Anyhow, I am not going to sit around while 12 people in LA say George befriended killers, so I hope that there is a rapid appeal.

Second off, didn’t the jury know that he was always pulling out his pistols on people (band members, friends, pick-ups, etc) and he never was found guilty of killing any of them, so therefore this is pretty convincing evidence that when he exited his house and announced “I think I just killed a person” what he was really saying was “I think someone just shot herself in the head with a pistol she got from my pistolla belt I wear around my chest” which are not in my opinion the words or deeds of a killer. Like when that one guy said “I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the deputy”, well, I figure if he’s honest about shooting the one he is probably honest that he didn’t shoot no stupid stinking badged deputy. Likewise, Phil’s statement that he did shoot the girl should make it clear that he was honest when he said he didn’t shoot the girl.

Third off, wasn’t the case in the area where OJ’s case was heard? Or Robert Blake? Because that would seem to be pretty clear precedent for aquittal. It sounds to me like there are many random killers who focus on the people close to those who own guns or ugly ass shoes or whatever.

Forth Oft, they should have let his original lawyer go nuts the first time - Bruce Cutler - represented the Teflon Don, etc.

04-12-09 :

Happy Easter. All the talk on the radio makes me wonder a few things. For example, did you ever bury a dead animal and later on some cat or racoon or whatever comes around and digs it off and takes the dead bird away? And then later on you see a bird that looks like the one that was buried and dug up? And then you claim it is a miracle because the dead bird has come back to life sort of like maybe a Zombie? Speaking of which, since the singer for Deep Purple was the star (as Judas I think) in Jesus Christ Superstar, Deep Purple itself put out a version of that and it was not as good. Sort of like if one of the other Kardashian sisters did their own “Superstar” movie - it is not often that remakes are as good as or better than the original. So, I’m thinking “Zombie Bird, Superstar, who are you, how do you fly so far?”

Pirates have lost to the U.S. Navy. Big surprise there. Maybe the sailors couldn’t understand as they tried to surrender.

Speaking of foreign tongues, Let’s have a foreign language lesson. I like Latin so let’s try that. I will give you some vocabulary, and you then translate a sentence I have spent hours preparing for you. Ready? Me too, so let’s go:

SEMPER - Always

UBI - Where

SUB  - Under

Ok. With this vocabulary let’s see if you can translate critically from classical Latin this epigram -

SEMPER UBI SUB UBI

Wow, wasn’t that fun? Now you literally know Latin. For a couple other lessons you can look here.

Do you know any other languages? Like Yiddish from Yidd? Or Spainish from Spain? Or Canadian, from Canadia? I speak American. In Texas they call it a swagger, but I call it just plain silly. I do like cowboy boots and probably cowboy speak if I ever heard it.

The other day after Maureen talked me out of the idea of putting Nair on parts of my head and telling everybody I had cancer, I was thinking about maybe becoming the divine Ruler of a small country or island. Does anyone know more about Thailand than I do? Then how come I don’t have a good feeling about going there to be Ruler. My ideas aren’t better than Towlie’s sometimes. Oh, by the way, did I mention you’re a towel?

Today is Easter Sunday, so Billy Shortz is on the radio. He’s a trained lawyer you know. Speaking of famous people named “Billy” did you know Billy Bob quit his music tour because a bunch of Canadians yelled, hissed and booed him off stage? It’s true. Ask Willie Nelson. “If I ain’t lyin’, I ain’t a Ryan” as they say. So, Billy Shortz is on the radio and someone says LeeAnn Hanson worked in Binghamton on the NPR radio. Binghamton is where the VC killed people because he couldn’t say “Now I ray me down to sreep” properly. Again, a perfect circle, like the circle of trust you will find with a friend who is a millionaire who knows a million of the same BFFs you have here. Make It Happen. If not you, who? If not now, when? Speaking of which, why is it, do you think, that “America” is not the national anthem?

As a child growing up in Possum Hollow Swamp, I always carried a pocket dictionary and would read it while travelling on foot to and from school. Hence, I know what zygote means. Circumnavigate. Circumscribe. Circumnavigate. Circumcision. All those compound words with the word “circle” hidden in them. Don’t you want to be friends with a millionaire who knows lots of words? Me too. Make It Happen.

One of our foreign correspondents has noted that it may be L'Aquila, Italy and not Blackula as had been earlier reported, that got really clobbered by some earth quake or something. They sound exactly alike which explains the confusion there.

I’m considering watching Oceans 11 because Joey Bishop has always been a favorite of mine. I watched “Raging Rudolph” that I got off Youtube earlier and it is well worth tle watch. There is so much I never knew about the mafia and Santa. It’s a film by Scorcesi so you know it has to be a film by Scorcesi.

The first kids are getting a dog - but which one? We have solutions here. I believe that a pro football player named Vick or some such may be the source of the animal.

Dogs get dirty and need soap. Now, I know we all know the Lever Brothers are big into soap, but which one was it who said “Give me a big lever and I’ll move a really big rock”? One astute reader thought his name was Archie Medees, but I don’t know what relationship he has to anything, much less soap.

I am a nationally published author. Did you know that? Well, it is true, and just more reason to Make It Happen so you can be friends with a nationally published author. Here is a link for your reading joy....

I try to keep out of labor disputes, but when there is an injustice, I feel compelled to stand up for the little guy. So, here is the situation: Apparently (according to a friend who wouldn’t really know) in the adult film industry the women get paid big bux (like maybe even hundreds of dollars) and the men don’t get paid. That is sex discrimination and it raises the hackles on my neck. It is wrong and we must take a stand on this. I think they need to unionize. Therefore, my current chant of the day is “Adult Entertainment Workers of the World Unite.” I hope that you write your congresspeople and senators and presidents and governors and mayors to rectify this sad situation.

Oh, btw, this site is optimized for mobile device viewing, so go get a crackberry.

I need help to write another book; the one mentioned above was severeral years ago and I am getting out of practice. But I can’t do it alone. Like anything we want to make a reality, like getting millions of friends or writing a book, it is always an individual community effort that gets the job done. To that end I am working on getting something online or at least accessible to field ideas and write. Probably not a bad idea to start with some sort of outline. I’ll try to do that. This link will get you to the book. 

Arizona Public Media, the local NPR radio station, completed its pledge drive. During that drive they modifed the amount they were getting one half way through the week; at the end of the week they announced how far they had fallen from the goal (which had already been lowered) and now they are saying they actually got there. I like to listen to Michigan Radio although the hours are messed up here in the land of no daylight to be saved in this state, we do fine with what we have, thank you.

If there is one thing I think we can agree in, it is that the goal to Make It Happen will never falter, never alter. Geez. That has a nice ring to it. Maybe that will get used here. Anyhoo . . . we want to help public media and so we have our pledge page here. Send now; openers are waiting.Our operators will keep all your information pretty private although it isn’t on a https type page or whatever, but if you ask that we not post your name, just ask.

04-11-09 :

I was going to watch a war movie The General. I skimmed through it and the special effects are sort of lame, but it is supposed to be good to watch. I’m sure it’s no Rambo, but ok for its time. And that got me thinking about that Movie Chaplin. Really really worth a watch. But it was silent, and there are most people who are deaf or can’t see and I was thinking about doing voices or be a narrator and read the words that are just on the silent screen, so everyone could keep up with what’s going on because for example “The Kid” is about an hour and a half and is pretty good compared to the state of the art then, because they used analog equipment mainly so it’s not like they had a phone or whatever to get good digital resolution and dolby stereo, which they did _not_ have back then. So I may post a few of the “Soundy-Silent Selection”^TM, in our expansive commercial page, which will be here when it is alive.

You ever hear about brain dying people? Heare you go.

Winter’s grip is holding Tucson today. It is under 70 degrees, cloudy, rainy, and cold. I as often as not have Michigan Radio on over “The Net”, which reminds me that in thinking about Tom Selleck’s early film “Myra Breckinridge” with Jim Backus. Anyway, I wanted to make sure that my public voting record is in. I vote that Sandra Bullock and Raquel Welch are MILFs. Oh, and that reminds me - several people pointed out that the Charlie Sheen or whoever film was MILK and NOT MILF as I had earlier reported. The Editorial Board of this institute apologize for any loss of ticket sales or increase in hotel sales or whatever for either one. So Myra Breckinridge hits home in many ways. For example, here.

Today I got really embarrassed. The last 4 years I have gone daily to a wine store owned by a guy named Leo, and every day I have ordcered “Galileo” and he gave me a bottle of wine in paper bag. Leo sold his store, and today I went in with my usual order, and it turns out I have been drinking Gallo, not Galileo as I had thought. I am so ashamed.

Speaking of which I wonder if Galileo or however it is spelled ever got out of limbo or purgatory or wherever some pope had him sent.  That will teach him to try to say God and earth are not the centers of the universe.

What I thought I was getting vs What I Got

Pretty obvious why I was deceived by Leo. And to be honest, I guess the problem will resolve itself since “Gallo, Nguenn” doesn’t have the same apparent ambiguity in it. Spelling Note : There are probably a couple “Y”s in that name but my computer is programmed in American English so spell-checking is futile.

I have decided to make it official - I am not declaring myself eligible for the NBA draft. I realize this is a disappointment to my fans, but I have decided a life of b-ball as I call it is not for me. Instead I want to become a rich nationally published friend to millions. I’m working on it. To see what’s on the calendar here, you could look here or not depending on your attitudes.

The hawk was back yesterday; since I presumed he had been euthanized, I have concluded that it is a zombie hawk, which is prety freaky if you ask anyone like me. Are there other zombies? Here is one answer.

Ok, I got this news from afar: 3 middle eastern mothers were comparing photos of their children. The first said “Here is a picture of Omar; he was killed as a suicide bomber at the age of 17.” The second says “That’s nothing. My little Abdul blew himself up at 15 in a suicide bombing at the temple of the despicable Jews.” The 3rd mom pulls out a photo and says “Achmed my baby was only 11 years old when he was killed in a suicide bombing.” The other mothers sighed, and one of them said “Oh, kids blow up so young.”

That is a true story. It is always a delight to share their memories with us. That’s what friends do.

Oh, for you who didn’t see if there were other zombies, here is a clue:

Well, the computer move may be trickier than originally hoped. I’ll keep you advised of course.

Have you seen the French Show, Les Bionic Women? They really like one another. But this brings up a point - did you know they have stuff on the internet that is not suitable for all audiences? It’s true. I know, I couldn’t believe it either, but if you Lycos you will see that it is a fact. I learned this when I was trying to figure out what branch of the hooter family my owl was.

Maybe it is hidden in my private stash of links. Just make sure not to tell anyone who isn’t a friend who has done what she could to Make It Happen, because this is all on the QT and hush hush stuff.

04-10-09 :

Is it already tomorrow, or today, or whatever it is wherever one might be? Seemed either later or earlier than that.  The FBI has sent a guy in to negotiate with the pirates. That agent is Tommy Lee Jones, and you know what words he will use to negotiate? Think about it. If you really don’t know, ask me. Oh, heck, I’ll just tell you. He will say “I don’t negotiate” into the ear of the guy who tried to kill Neo in The Matrix, who was also married to the Bride of Chucky in Bound. She was also the unfaithful wife in Liar Liar. I sort of stumbled on this fact while looking up the owl issue on Lycos. Did you know she is also the voice of the crippled guy on Pete Griffith, Family Man? It’s true. Once again it is a perfect circle, just like it should be. Let’s try hard to Make It Happen today. Do you have an envelope somewhere? Can you get a stamp that is just sitting around being unproductive and not helping the economy? Don’t you have a dollar you can invest into the greatest thing since sliced veal or diced potatoes or tomatoes? Or whatever that word was Dan Quail couldn’t spell on national TV?

This site has physically moved from one computer to another without any obvious problems. I hope to have no problems, and you can help make it happen, because if it does happen I’ll do even more with this site. I will work days, weeks, months, and yes, even seconds, to do things here. It’s up to us, lets Make It Happen, eh? Ok, thanks.

04-09-09 :

Was I too wordy today? I guess I’m trying to make up for past infractions or omissions. Like the 14,000 years it took to find some tools in Scotland.

I guess the Supreme Court in Fiji doesn’t know the meaning of Emperor or King or Supreme Being. Speaking of which, his father being sort of deified or whatever is why the leader of The Country That Launched Its Submarine By Rocket is the commander of the forces. His dead dad is in control “behind the scenes’ and “under the radar’ unlike the Launching Rocket itself was. Until it submerged. At that point I would think radar, or more likely the dolphins would locate and point out where the rocket bits are. Dolphins, hear us loud and clear. You are either with us or against us, and if you are against us (as we suspect) we leave all options on the table open. All I can say is “Remember Bagdad, 2004 on today’s date. “We got him” can easily become “We got Flipper” if you catch my drift. USAma Bin Ladin excepted, we are like deputies or sheriffs or whoever it is, perhaps mounties or some such, who always get their man. Or mammal. We hope you are with us, and if you are, then remember to help Make It Happen. Look for the links and follow the instructions if you want to be a part of something that I can’t afford to not miss, so Make It Happen. As with clean coal, this just takes advantage of the power of the word hope. Spread hope like clean coal air freshener, because if you do you will help Make It Happen.

Anyone notice there are some new stuff around. Are you a member of a large family of friends united in a single goal of being happy and making others happy yet? As a member you will get to share with what will surely become millions of others

Just to make sure you didn’t miss it, I made an historical political observation that if our President had a final name and it was Abigbuilding that he wouldn’t be in the White House today. I noted this in connection with the fact that John F. Kennedy wore a Mae West life jacket, as the U.S. lifejackets were known. Did you know that well? You may learn all about Mae West somewhere here or else, too. Don’t you want to help the Italians suffering from loss of home and life because of the earthquake in Blackula? Make It Happen. Experience your dreams. As one of the commanders from Star Trak said at least enough that even I knew it, ‘Computer, make it happen”. Brush fires in Australia? Want to help? Make it happen. Flooding in New Orleans got you itchin’ to help, Make It Happen right now. Don’t you want to stop the flood of photos of Paris Hilton on all the rag blogs, because Paris really, when you really look at her face without makeup in either the bathtub scenes or the night-vision bed scenes of her best known films, she isn’t “hot” and she is just a whore, so you want to stop seeing her photos everywhere? Make It Happen. But do you on the other hand want to see Tara Reid from Taradise falling down drunk out of her dress? If you answered any of these questions, then you can Make It Happen.

As I am sure you have already guessed, I was just listening to the version of When the Levee Breaks sung by Memphis Minnie and Kansas Joe McCoy and comparing it to the Led Zep version, which of course I grew up with from when it was released, sometime in high school I guess. Memphis Minnie et.al. does it ok, though. The old Learn from Led trick I bet. Oh, except they gave them sort of ‘randomly connected’ sort of connection. I will put my thoughts on a page about my musical observations. Thinking of the levees breaking in whatsitsname that got all underwater or flooded or whatever that was all about, got me wondering about using submarines more. I can’t even honestly remember the last time I was aboard one on the high floods or seas or whatever you are high on. That is pathetic. I am pathetic. But I do have more hope for this world and for myself lately.

Someone asked me to discuss the web. Here is one version. The web is sort of all connected by this relationship because everything is connected to everything else through that spider “web”. The “web” is made of the fiber silk. So, we are delivered via a fiber optic and it all goes round making perfect concentric circles. Wanna get lost? :-)

 Make It Happen^TM

Pirates seized an US flagship. Shiver me timbers, keel haul ‘em, make ‘em walk the plank. Arrrrgh. Apparently flotillas are in the future, and that makes me think of Das Boot, which contrary to what you believe is not about “Dat Boot” but “That Boat” and you can see how flotillas are subject to attack if the pirates get a few submarines. It explains the thought behind transporting large groups of boats (not unlike trains, but not physically connected) and protecting the masses, versus trying to protect each and every boat out in the middle of the freaking ocean from these Pirates. Do you suppose that the word pier comes from the Pirate language for what is a pier? But I digress from Das Boat (as I call it) and should I do that you wouldn’t recognize the substitute killer who is trying to kill whatsername from the high school reunion here in Tucson as the captain of Das Water Craft and also as the father of the hero in the movie Dune, who was also the head male star if ther is such a thing, in Showgirls which if it weren’t a wonderful movie why did everyone see it? You see? A perfect circle.

 Make It Happen

Now, that movie (Das Boat, not Showgirls!) made it clear to me what a destroyer was - a fast ship armed with cannons and depth charges designed to remove a submarine from operational condition. So, I guess that we will end up depth charging pirates around the globe so we don’t have to deal with what court/tribunal/country would have jurisdiction etc. Did you know I took admiralty in law school? Well, it is true. I was interested in the application of tort law to tortious conduct upon navigable waters. My motto has always been “If if floats, jurisdiction is boats” and “Right and Green and Starboard have more letters than Left or Red or Port.” See? Now you will always know how to figure that one out, since I believe that the coast guard, national guard, marines and navy are going to be looking for a few chosen individuals to drop depth charges out in the ocean. You have to know the side from which you will hurl explosives.

Speaking of submarines, isn’t it great that North Korea was able to successfully launch its rocket-propelled submarine launcher last weekend? Man, those guys are at the cutting edge of submarine launching. I wonder if they know red from green though. But you know what? You do, and you know your starboard (**ght) and port (**ft) from one another. I would have thought that someone would have been able to figure out exactly where that submarine went into the Pacific Ocean and I would go there and launch a submersible vehicle of some sort. Something that could go under the water. Perhaps a “U-boat” (which I think actually may have been a U-boot) Under. You know, like udder which is at the bottom of the beast if you get my drift. Apparently no one knows how to deal with this situation: A little boat with no power, food, water, batteries, sails, cloth, is floating loose in the middle of the freaking ocean, They are holding a hostage, the Captain of the Ship, as it were. I guess he chose to go down with the ship, because frankly if he outlives his captors stuck on the little boat, he’s off the hook, captain. HAHAHA - what’s his name? Hook, Captain. I slay myself like any good Knight of a Table might. Because that Knight is part of a family of friends who all got together for one purpose. To Make It Happen. Shouldn’t you, you crazy knucklehead pirate, you.

04-08-09 :

I have small aspirations because the universe is so vast and we can’t figure out what about 75% of it is made of. I did learn from the National Geographic that all the gold ever mined in the world would not fill 2 olympic sized pools. I don’t have that much room, but if you examine this you will see why I believe that you can make it come true.

I think Mae West is way messed. She isn’t even making movies lately it seems (although I am out of the commercial market). She should die for Pete's sake (Pete’s sake? - who’s Pete anyhow?).

Wow. Didn’t realize I had missed a couple days. I am getting ready to approach the savageness of the midwest. Also of course, Tax day is coming out. According to the NYU Howard K. Stern School of Law it is best to prepare for preparing your taxes.

I am updating some of my siblingual pages and trying to figure all this stuff out. I have decided to create a campain based on the NPR model. More info on a PRN basis. Did you ever before not notice that PRN and PMS both start with the word “pee”? If that doesn’t rock your socks off, or blow your hair back, or blow your skirt up, or maybe even just blow, then you can eat your hat or run it up the flagpole, or put it in your pipe, or whatever it is you people might do.

Reading all this has me remembering Anna Nicole Smith. Did her kid(s?) ever get their inheritance?

Oh, also, today I want to publicly thank NetObjects Fusion for clearing up the mess I had from January to March. It took a while but was worth the wait.

I did watch Chaplin last night. I have always loved the song Taxi and the movie was great. It had some really fine McCarthy Hearing clips clopping like they do in Holland. Michigan, that is. “No big woof.” And that has me thinking about SCTV from our white neighbors to the north, the Polar Bears. I think. It may be Eskimos or snow leopards but I know it has to do with global warming.

If you have never done this, youtube clean coal. Oh, also Chad Vader. Anyhow, I did’t realize that clean coal is built around the word clean, and who has a problem with clean? Not me. Anyhow, the coal can apparently be made into pretty good air filters, sort of like how cigarettes used to have micronite filters, making me think of Kent Cigarettes. Perhaps related to the Duke of Kent or some such. Tobacco is good for America. You can see my thoughts here...

04-05-09 :

Today’s disturbing news - from a documentary I am watching right now, Bush has set the groundwork for an army of Zombie Strippers. The Zombie Army will of course continue to fight after death. The science is based on the X chromosome. I am chromosomophobic, so this is a frightening event to me.  Apparently electromagnetic impulses are really tough on the average Zombie Stripper, though, so there is that, although it appears to have a short half-life effect. I am not sure if Johnny Depp is in the documentary because I haven’t seen it all yet. I am not sure if he was in the Cora Loft Wombraider series either. Check IMDB for that info and let me know. I will keep you up to date. Update - apparently it isn’t a war movie, and it isn’t even any good, so I can’t continue watching this monsterously bad film.

So I turned on the TV and there is this show, Peter Griffith Family Man. I don’t get it. I’ll eat my hat if this show hasn’t been cancelled already.

04-05-09 :

It is 1 minute after Simpsons here, and within the last few minutes I have totally blown away everything I have done here since 3-17, so if things are a bit in disorder, forgive. If people are good with the environmental ecology like I am, why do they call them ‘icky friendly’? I don’t think it is being icky to help the world warm up to me and everything. Maybe I am just slow (ok, I am slow) but still . . .

Forgot to send money and post pics for my daughter Molly, for which I apologize. I was busy trying to locate a copy of Amazon Women on the Moon, because it is supposed to be a great movie. Perhaps better than 1,000,000 BC which is way Before Cheney (BC - get it?). I spent last night getting a bunch of Tori Amos songs, like where she makes fun of Linsey Lohan and takes pity on Brit Brit, but mainly for her Cobain medley and “Losing my religion”.

Instead of just a photo of some cat, I got a “Cat tat” as I love to call it. Here is a photo of the cat tat. What do you think of that?

Isn’t that just precious? I think so, too. It really hurt, but “No Pain, No Cat Tat” as they say in Yuma. My mom used to ask “Ever been to Yuma?” and I would say “No, you ma?” Then she would start to say “yes, Yuma” and get excited as hell. Apparently Yuma is some not hot spot.

URGENT UPDATE - IT IS A CATOO. THAT IS THE TECHNICAL NAME FOR IT, SCIENTIFICALLY.

04-04-09 : My movie quest continues. Have any of you seen Sean Young’s movie Milf? It was nominated for a lot of rewards, and was about this guy from San Francisco in the mid-80s or some such who was into sexual experimentation. Anyhow, it is supposed to be a fine film. Probably no “The Replacement Killers” I am sure, but good nevertheless.

Thinking of Romeo and Mitchell and their big reunion got me thinking about movies. Speaking of movies, I got one that was dual language. I chose white; I may chose AA next time. Or maybe not. What about you? Have you ever had such a choice? It’s not easy. I recently witnessed a scene where a woman was explaining that getting a super secret disc of information was a once in a life event sort of like slipping on the ice outside a fancy restaurant. Anyhow, it was 4 separate procedures the woman in the expose referred to in the preceeding sentence needed and apparently that secret information paid for it out of your tax dollars. That’s why I think we need a real change in Washington. I propose moving Seattle to Oregon as a good first step as it is shovel ready and it is what we need, especially now.

So, this man I know gave me a 2-CD ‘set’ (actually 1/2 of 2 CDs) by this person P.A. Green. Really good stuff. Then I find out almost by mistake that he is the reason I liked the early Fleetwood Mac, because he basically was the early Fleetwood Mac. And then I learned something that I think is going to blow your mind. Oh, but first, that reminds me that that Viet Cong Killer in Binghamton NY may have said “So, you think accent funny? You no think funny when I brow you blains out do you mister?” Ok, here it is - the song “Gloria” which is always (IMHO) attributed to the Shadows of Night, was actually written by someone else? I know. I couldn’t either. Well, if you have ever heard the song “Girl, You’ll Be A Woman Soon” like was in Pulp Fiction where whatshername does heroin instead of cocaine and basically codes and Travolta has to go to Rosanne Arquette’s house to get a shot of adrenaline? Well, that is Neil Diamond, and he also wrote Kentucky Woman. Yes, that’s right. Van Morrison wrote Gloria. I know, I know. Weird, isn’t it? Like that non-american dude in that Shia stalker movie said, “it is not cohesive” and I tend to have agreed to not disagree with him at this point.

Are Vietnamese the people who confuse all their consonants like L and R or the ones who used fire powder? Anyhow, if you ever use Youtoob look up Van Morrison and Gloria and John Lee Hooker, and when you find Hooker also check him with the Doors. Today NPR had a skit about people dying at the age of 27. And when I thought of Todd Rundgren I realized that he was still alive. What about Ms. Rehab, the lovely Mistress of Blake? Why isn’t she 27 yet? What’s with the wait? If she survives, she can do duets with whatshername who hung out with the Stones and had a hit? Maryanne Faithful or some such. I heard her on NPR about 2 weeks ago. Ouch. Anyhow, if there is one thing you must do on Youtube before you hit 27 and are out of there, watch the wonder that is Winemouse and you will never forget it. Ever. Except when it is out of mind, but then you still remember it - you have the physical memory somewhere - so that really doesn’t count. Plus, when you consider how the greatest mind in criminal history worked, Hemlock Stones did not try to remember useless facts because there is only so much room. Some people have more room than others, I think, because Bill Gates said 64k was all I would ever need, and I trusted him. BIG MISTAKE. Speaking of DOS, consider the stories of my sister Dennis sometime. While her kids were growing up she was calling specific telephone numbers in South America, as were thousands of others. This would basically cause busy signals on the phones. Look up DOS or Denail of Service sometime. Dennis was a pioneer in it.

04-02-09 :

The animal life continues to diminish. It is like Children in Asia. You know, youth in Asia? I may have to euthanize my sense of humor. I am thinking that tannis root may be a good choice. You know, for euthanasia? I will have to start updating the calendar. Did you find it yet? Let me know when you do so I can update it.

04-01-09 :

14:11:03 - Yesterday I was watching a documentary of a town in Rhode Island and the local video store there had quit stocking amputee porn (no pun intended). Anyhoo, if you go to www.theamputee.com you can find all the amputee porn you need for a fun afternoon’s web phishing.

I haven’t seen the hawk lately. Maybe he got euthanized. I haven’t seen the roadrunner recently. Maybe he got euthanized too. Heck, I haven’t seen many people lately, so perhaps there is some “28 days later” thing going on. How am I to know. Do you really think the government would tell us? If you do, then I have a hanger in Nevada for you to buy. Or a field in Rosswell. I can’t remember any more the expansive real estate holdings I have beyond that bridge in Lake Havasu here in sunny Arizona.

Speaking of sun, I understand Michigan and basically the rest of the nation is getting hammered. Well, we don’t get off scott free. Last night there were winds of around 63 km/hr for extended periods of time. I am so glad that just like I was told in 5th grade the U.S. is going totally metric, except for time which will remain analog because of daylight savings time, whatever that is. Arizona doesn’t recognize that any more than Martin King’s birthday.

03-31-09 :

Today I looked at calendars from my year of birth to the current date, and discovered that my birthday has fallen on a Thursday four times.

Also, I have seen some of the worst movies ever made. Maybe that is why they are public domain.

Tonight the Godfather is on. Did you know that Marlin Brando got paid 7.2 million dollars for twelve minutes of screen time? And that was in 1973 dollars. If you put a dollar into the ground in 1973 and dug it up and spent it today, you could still buy $1.00 worth of stuff. So actually 1973 dollars are exactly the same as they are worth today. Man. I should have been A Godfather I guess. Brandon dated Paris Hilton some time ago.

Oh - GREAT NEWS - Last week I reported that the last surviving wild jaguar in North America was euthanized at the Phoenix Zoo. Well, it turns out that the animal was just dehydrated and not dying, so there was no euthanasia. I feel so much better now. Euthanasia is ending a terminal existence; if the animal was just dehydrated, we call it murder. And having that pesky jaguar problem solved is just icing on the cake as far as I am concerned.

Want some tips if (when??) you have 3 or more drunk drivings in 10 years? Don’t go to AA because if you do you will not get a license unless you are currently going there. In other words, if you start and stop, you won’t be driving. So, before considering AA, consider this: Abstinent people are quitters. Alcoholics are diseased drunks. Now, do you think if you had a problem you would think to yourself “Why don’t I find a diseased drunk who is a quitter, and see if he has any great insight into my life problems?”? I think perhaps not. Google rational recovery for a better solution - it’s all in your head.

03-30-09 :

My quest for a field of expertise contracts. I am changing my name to Wesc Raven and putting out horrific comedies. Today I caught flak for not updating a page about some cat who visited EGR of late. This is a tough life. I have to finish a brief tonight and try to explain a person back onto the roads if I can.

03-27-09 :

I’ll try harder. Really. I mean it. Seriously. For real. It’s true. I’m going to do it. Not going to fail. Absolutely. Fer Sure.

03-12-09

Well, I now have the most current version of Netobjects Fusion. Can you tell?

03-11-09 -

Well, that was fun. I have stories to tell.

I tried to upgrade my software, then the following day I restored my laptop’s HD to its original pristine condition. That condition did not include the version 8 of Netobjects Fusion, the software I use for this site. Then I found I had to re-install but had no CDs here; CER tried to get the program and I was able to “upgrade” back to NOF4 then couldn’t do anything to get NOF8 back. Today, after long waits, NetObjects mmade NOF8 upgrade available; now I am back to where I was on 1/11/09. Fancy that.

Ok, our home has a guest cat and here is a picture of her. She is quite the fancy cat, n’est pas?

BTW the count is still 2.

Did you know the currency of the French has pictures of the Littlest Prince all over it? It is true - he was a war hero in the big one across the pond I guess.

Did you also know that Geronimo went to Yale? I didn’t either, but it may be true. Maybe one of Bush’s ancestors can affirm or deny...

In connection with that historical fact (is it a historical fact or an historical fact?) (I am going to do an entire story based on that intellectual conscript some time soon.) Abe Lincoln had his watch fixed the day the Civil War started, and his repairman inscribed some sentence about a government that can deal with it, etc. This was just confirmed by recent watch repairmen.

Here is a picture of another sneaky bird making the rounds round these parts partner.

01-11-09 -

The vote remains 2  .

Did you know that I can’t fit a guitar case into the trunk of my car. The “bunner” of the car, as they say in English, is tiny. It would be hard-pressed to fit Amy Winehouse into the trunk. A guitar in a case will not fit. And in the front is the motor. There is no spare tire. Which is unfortunate since today I got a flat tire when I was a few miles away from home, so I had to drive on a flat for a few miles. Tire is now fit for the old mine shaft, and hopefully the wheel is ok. it will need to be towed to a tire place. Sigh . . .

Not much new here, because I did upgrade the web software but the installation won’t accept my (valid) old registration code, and tech support hasn’t gotten back to me with a solution yet. So . . .

Bunner was released from the hospital on the same day I considered getting a spider as a pet. Did you know that the average age of a tarantula is 42.5 years? Neither do I.

President Elect Al Obama will take office soon. Perhaps he will pardon Bush and Cheney for war crimes. He should immediately pardon the Illinois governor for trying to maximize the benefit to the citizens of Illinois by putting the Senate spot on Ebay with no reserve and no “Buy it now”.

01-07-09 -

Elvis was born 79 years ago. He currently resides in Kalamazoo.

Granny and Eileen were also born. Bunner is an it. Cow will be a happier man now. Apparently blackbud put on a few pounds over the holidays - he will have to start getting into bathing-suit condition, because I think that this is his year to learn how to swim.

The vote count as of now : 2 

There was a break in our severe winter today - mid-60s if I had to guess, which I do. I spilled some sugar water and there were bees aplenty. That means there were many bees. So many that I, who have gained the ability to sit through any bee onslaught, had to go inside. I think I will spray some clear water over the spots and get the sugar out of there. Those are not the proverbial bees knees, IMHO. FYI, I think using intitials to save space is pretty stupid. (LMAO) Also, racoons like sugar water. And some birds.

The tree the hawk sits in got a trimming the other day. The hawk has returned and I have a better field of vision now. When I get a digital camera I will take a picture. I think it may be a brown hawk. What do you think?

I have some French currency here. Did you know that The Littlest Angel is on both sides of the currency? Did you know the author was in an Amelia Erhardt situation? And finally did you know that DNA tests proved, about 2 years ago, that her body had been near some old plane wreckage on some little island? It is true.

Obama has been considering a name change from Barack to Al. Other than Washington, have we ever had a president whose name sounds like a state?

I am going to get some new software for maintaining this web page. Perhaps that will be an encouragement to create more. I have been playing some guitar and the last 2 days have been spent listening to Neil Young. Ha. Is funny. His name is young but he is old. Is very funny.

01-04-09 -

Here’s the vote so far:  0

Not much else. Rain. Hawk.

Apparently Bunner had a bad bunny day and may be grounded.

01-02-09 -

The year continues to drag on, but at least it appears that winter has finally ended. Today was in the 70s again.

I found out that we went to dinner with the (ex)-wife of the guy who invented benedryl (sp????).

Which brings me to the fundamental question : Did anyone notice that there was a relationship between my being on steroids and my typing? And as they say, “Why do we blog anyway?”. I have not been “surfing” “the” “net” lately “and” I have been using my computer as it was intended - to watch movies and listen to music. I have found some old movies that are “PD” and watch them. Maybe I’ll start posting some reviews on them. Although I am afraid of undertaking anything new until I know more. So, there is that, too.

So. Let me know on it, OK? I thank you in advance. thr.

12-26-08 -

Where did all the pages go? I know that I have spent no less than 10 minutes per day every day on my log. But I can’t see it here.

Weather is like yesterday but colder for Tucson. Otherwise no major changes since yesterday. Birthday season is of course upon us. X was born on X-mas, CER, MOL, MAG, MBR and I all have our birthdays in rapid succession, just like the south during the seville war. Apparently there is some snow in MI but you couldn’t prove it by me.

The hawk was here today; I still have NOT seen the bobcat, nor the mountail lion, but the roadrunner was here a few days ago. Cool.

CER is visiting Tigger today. Mag works on Boxing Day because it isn’t a major holiday in Turkey like it is in Canada (the Turkey of North America as it is often called). “Boxing Day” - box it up and return it. Really. John Malkovich mentioned that during dinner X-mas eve. Did you know he is Canadian? Neither did he nor I, but it may be true.

10-20-08 -

Already! So much missed. Mainly missed is the candy I put on top of the refridgerator. It is gone. I suspect theft.

Bunny got to come out and play today. Boomer was spotted in the yard. Yesterday I sort of cleaned out the garage and put the stuff to be thrown out on one side. I am declaring that the garage is my fort. My friends tell me I should have a fort, or a man-cave. They like the way the garage has nice interior wood siding on the walls and ceiling, plus the pillars matching the house. In this picture of Maureen and the kids driving out of the driveway you can see the pillars.

I continue in my steroid rage. I couldn’t get the garbage disposal to work, but yesterday I did get it to make an interesting buzzing noise for a minute, so I figured I had wrecked it and went out and got a new cheap one and installed it and it didn’t work and therefore, using the principals of Sherlock Holmes, I deduced that the cord itself was faulty, and replaced it. It works. Thanks, Arthur Conan Doyle. If you have never heard it, there is an old album from the mid-70s by an organization “Firesign Theatre” concerning the Giant Rat of Sumatra, which is a great play on Hemlock Stones, Genius Investigator through deduction. How the deuce did you deduce that? Elementary . . . school, my dear Flotsom.

10-16-08 -

I almost lost the entire website! I keep the last 9 copies, but had ‘restarted’ around 5 times (each time making a corrupt copy the latest ‘copy’ and thus reducing the potential copies which were not corrupt. Anyhoo, all is well. You lost my notes about the debate, and my noting that McCain kept on referring to autism because he didn’t understand Palin’s kid has some other, less treatable condition. And you also missed my notes about W’s recent visit to Ada (the next town over) to get together with some old buds, and how W believes that he is one of the 144,440 or whatever ‘chosen’ who will survive the final days of the world.

I am on a steroid rage which causes me to not sleep as much as I might otherwise. So there.

10-14-08 -

Simply because the news was not newsworthy. MBR and I went with Bob and Gayla to see “The Capital Steps” which is of course that ‘hip, upbeat, contemporary, musical” group who jest at the state of affairs and affairs of state. Not really very ‘edgy’ IMHO. That’s just me.

Remember:

 McCain

Trusted thru the Centuries

 GWB is in GR tonight to dine with the living founder of Scamway, the father of the guvenatorial candidate, father in law to the founder of Whitewater, and namesake of seemingly half of GR, Dick Devos. I didn’t get my invite, but yesterday was Columbus Day, in recognition of Amerigo Vespuci’s contributions to North American chartology.

Now, the question of the day: Will W be remembered as the greatest president because he (a) destroyed the free market, or (b) destroyed personal liberties, or (c) established socialism? Because he is the decision-maker, maybe we should ask him. Actually apparently he treated the country as his personal business, which except for a baseball team, I sort of have gathered did not always meet with tremendous success.

Presidential debates tomorrow night. I am hoping someone asks McCain what his losing speech is going to be, so we don’t have to get ‘down’ on election night because of his failures and losses. Can we all say “Thanks for not letting Romney get the shot” because we don’t need someone who might actually know about the nation’s economy and McCain is an easier mark. A day or so ago, he reminded his followers that Barack is a great guy and will make a great president. Right. I say conceed now, get it over with. Let Ms. Palin get back to the awsome responsibilites Wausilla may require.

Joke : What will Palin do after the election? Alaska.               Think about it. Say it out loud.

Blackbud II is looking forward to his birthday.

10-11-08 -

Today was a busy day for installing a new counter in the kitchen - it is nice having friends who can and will help with such projects. Anyhow I will post photos within a day or so hopefully. It is Saturday; yesterday was Friday (duh) and the market was only down around 200 points. Maybe we won’t get a depression. And I did find out early today that Sarah Palin is guilty in her own state of trying to block an investigation of whether she was guilty of having her hockey husband Todd try to fire the ex-husband of Todd’s sister.

So, my friends were admiring my garage today, because it is old and it has nice woodwork inside it. Blog entry today sucks because I am too tired. So I am off to sleep, perchance to dream now.

10-8-08 -

McCane is bringing out the big dogs of his experience, which is a smart move.

10-7-08 -

“The Big Debate” was a big nothing. I am lamenting the fact that no one has brought up Palin’s unwillingness to meet Sarah Bernhard under a “no holds barred’ meeting in New York City. “Microsoft Live Search” it now if you don’t get it. But there is all this talk about economics and stocks being cheaper, and thinking that maybe now is a good time to buy, and I wish we had that personal social security account Bush wanted (where we all just invest in the stock market). Maybe McCane will go ahead with that one. I want someone to ask McCain how much his suits cost, and where he gets them, because he had a great suit on for the debate. And how it is he can say “you can’t learn on the job’ in the same sentence as “I can’t wait to bring Sarah Palin to Washington”.

So, anyhow, just a reminder that GWB really tried to push through a ‘let them take over their own social security, because if they invest in the market they will do really well’ as he recommended Enron as one really good performer. A friend and I had an argument about 2 months ago as he maintained that immediate benefit/payment is better than looking long-term for the good of the company. I continue to wish that the Dems would impeach Bush or charge Cheney with war crimes, or some fun winter TV fun. The big question is whether Bush has enough time to get us into a war requiring the “old military learnin’” of that horse, McCain. Because that is the ONLY way McCain should even have a chance.

Because so many are yelling about how to find this page (?????) I made the opening page pictures smaller so the (hopefully ???) link to this page is faster or easier to see or whatever. You are welcome.

BBC tonight is playing “The Interview” with some guy who got his feet amputated after a bad experience mountain climbing with his brother. This reminds me that the household rabbit likes to roam free and hide inside furniture. Therefore he apparently must lead a life of imprisonment. Go figure.

10-6-08 -

People have complained about the complexity of this site, and to be honest I get confused and have to use my ‘secret shortcut’. But, tell you how to figure this site out. Think like a maverick.

I changed the format of this page; if there are no problems I will change the format throughout. Wider, bigger/better resolution. Sorry, Radio Shaque.

I am hoping that today GWB will admit to the nation that everything that is wrong or not right, or bad, is his fault, for which he and Cheney accept full responsibility, and that each of them commits to not accepting one penny of ‘government aid’ in the form of pension or personal protection. Besides, since they each did so much for the country, I am sure that the general populace will great them as liberators, thus they would not be in harm’s way in any event. The Dow Industrials are down some 600 points, so the 85 billion bail bond was well worth every cent. Thanx, MSNBC.COM

Bush today said that he would fix the problem, because that is why people elected him president. HASN’T HE ‘FIXED’ ENOUGH?

Lehman Bros execs got paid as little as 350 million for 8 years work. 8 YEARS, only 350 million. They need to be paid more. Maybe Bush will ‘fix’ that too. At least SNL is doing well thanks to their maverick position.

Now some guy named Stop’n’shop has been named to value the bad assets the government just bought.

Today is the last day to register to vote - if you are not registered, do so immediately so you can vote your conscience on the Palin Issue. Be Mavericky in deciding what a Maverick would do, eh?

Palin has now come out with the swiftboat announcement of the month, that Obama socialized with domestic terrorists. That means that she is just a domestic. Hockey mom of the month to a son who is now in Iraq so he can shoot people. A great role model to parents and kids alike. If she is right about how God created the earth a few hundred years before Jesus, then her reward will be in heaven, and the general populace will react with a knee jerk at ‘negative’ ads. Not that McCain is going to brag about the S&L crisis of the mid-80s - lots of really valuable property was lost in the western US, such as McCain’s home state of Arizona, thanks to him and some (at least) 5 others. The Keating 5. Plus McCain? Or was he one of the 5? Let me know if you ever ‘lycos’ that.

In EGR winter is slowly making its head visible, and weather change is very hard on me. You?

I am starting to regain my ‘proper’ sleeping habits. At least I am not staying up all night and getting up at 2 pm. I still get up, just don’t stay up that late. Hopefully I can maintain this mode. I am as seemingly always running out of disk space on my computer - there’s never enough - so I will have to get another external hard drive to hold vids, or as you may call them, movies.

Yesterday I introduced 2 more friends to the satisfying tunes of AfroMan. We played guitar to their tunes for a few hours.

Oct 1-4, 2008 -

Blog today from Toronto, Canada.  You till is a very international city, with populations from around the world represented well.

Last night the vice presidential candidates debated, and Sara, or Palidin as I like to refer to her, because she is a maverick, or a Philly, or some sort of horse, wore a black dress rather than her other dress, which is red.  I thought that she came across as somewhat dull, not unlike our current president, and continue to believe that she is not qualified for the office of the Vice President. She is not a maverick, as is evident from the Palin Din page here at Campaign ‘08 Headquarters here on tomryan.com notes so fully. I am thinking she fits in more with one of the streaked blondes on Petticoat Junction.

The Toronto newspaper had some very nice editorials, and I would like to quote from some of that.  "In global politics, too, Washington is in a better position than its detractors claim.  True, the grinding struggle in Iraq and stumbling leadership of George W. Bush have tarnished his reputation.  But as American author Robert Kagan notes in a recent essay, it has suffered a far worse blows in the past, from the North Korean invasion of the South and the loss of China to communism in the fall of South Vietnam and the overthrow of the Shah of Iran-each a quote strategic calamity of immense scope".  By contrast, Iraq looks manageable, especially after the clear progress of the past year."

There is a building in downtown Toronto that, during the evening, repeatedly and continually displays moving pictures across the large base of the building.  Our first night here I thought that these were projected onto the building, but last night realized that they were integral to the building, possibly placed in the windows.Repeatedly bad short movies are displayed on the building, which is an eyesore, his light pollution, and is just plain ugly.  This is my international clean bats Toronto removes the building or at least to the movies.  My telephone has just indicated that I was receiving a telephone call, but I am a roaming that now so I cannot afford to have a discussion with somebody.

Sep 30, 2008 -

Ok, I took a few days off and will fill you in in a moment. But first, the important news - Sarah Palin reads all of the newspapers printed, which is how she gets her view of the world. And I have discovered that she apparently only has one dress and it is red and she wears the same outfit on every news show she is on. I think it is great that she is able to conserve her resources and is not tied down to the latest fashion of the day.

Now she supports birth control as long as it doesn’t end life, such as the morning after pill.

Here is a photo of the Palin estate in Wausilla:

It is great to see that she has remained on of the common people, who in Alaska are some 40% unemployed currently, because we can’t ‘drill, drill, drill’ on the peatmoss that is Alaska.

Congress surprised me by the republicants not approving of their leader’s request for 70B. I am of course not smart enough to know if that is good or bad, although I think that allowing a bunch of crooks to cheat the poor out of their life savings by committing to a mortgage they will never be able to afford, well, those crooks shouldn’t be benefited for this.

Maureen and I had a long talk the other day and I announced my feelings on “the hereafter” which is that when a person is dead they are a larger equivalent of a dead racoon on the roadside. Which is one of the reasons I don’t believe so much in creationism currently. Although I don’t think that there is anything wrong with a belief in a man who made everything out of nothing, since this is the basic infinity quandry that so confuses mankind. Speaking of which, how about them Cubbies, eh?

Sep 26, 2008 -

McCain’s depends were leaking on TV and you could see Barak covering up in shock. It was disgusting. And did you see how short Mr. McNeil Lehrer is? He appeared to  be a full 4’9 1/2” with his shoes on. So sad.

Sep 25, 2008 -

Work, work, work on the old blog. Crisis in the world again today. Panic. Must spend. Must give. And the Ryan household still hasn’t tapped into our 5.3 billion “welfare for republicans” as it is currently labeled. I couldn’t bring myself to witness W on TV last night so I listened to him. He is in the parlance of today’s youth a “major league pussy” and I think that impeachment proceedings should be brought now so he truly goes out in a sea of shame. If there were a god he would foreclose on Bush’s Texas ranch ‘Neverland’.

The big depressing news of course is that Britney’s album is going to be a week late. She is spending a bit of family time with the ‘rents and kid sis and kid of sis.

Speaking of pregnant teenagers, Sarah Palin has I am sure some great plan for our economy, because she is an experienced politician. I would like someone to ask her how long ago she thinks that this planet came into existence, because I am betting that she is one of those “God made it in about 1,000 BC, just like in the movie”.

And finally I today was shocked and awed to learn that Gay Clay Aiken is a homosexual. I just thought he was rather queer. My mistake.

Sep 24, 2008 -

Almost forgot to make the mandatory entry here. And what good would a blog be without entries? It would be no good. Not that this one is good, but at least it is a try. Where is YOUR blog? What did YOU enter today, and yesterday, etc.????

Today was filled up (again) with emergency cries for 700 billion dollars, some 2 weeks after it was announced that our economy was fundamentally sound. What happened in the last 2 weeks. All the crooks made as much as they could, so now we should give them these hundreds of billions?

Sep 23, 2008 -

Well, wouldn’t you know it - today I needed a battery charger, but as the astute reader realizes, I learned yesterday that it was stolen as well. So now my moped is stuck downtown with a dead battery, and because everyone else in this house is so anal about making sure the jumper cables and many portable chargers I had equipped every vehicle with are where they belong, no one knows where any of this is.

I continue to watch Theoc and it is as bad today as it was last season. At least Buffalo girl is drinking nonstop on the show now, and the pregnant girl who lost her baby really didn’t. It is exciting - now I really  understand why it is off the air.

Here is a picture of buffalo gal:  

This is of her doing an interview on a religious station, because she is one of God’s creatures and is fearful of God. And is very classy, you know, in a good way?  So in tune to communicating with god that she doesn’t realize her blouse is open and her cans are in full view. I say “cans’ because Peter used that expression on Family Guy and thus I know it is the proper way.

So last night after my blog entry I worked hard on playing dueling banjos but on a guitar, and it was ok.

Sep 22, 2008 -

Today I discovered that the lawnmower theives also took a battery charger. Arrrrrrgh.

Today I am working on my new group, Nationals against Zionist Immigration. Some think that the name needs work, but I don’t know about that. I think that it is concise and clear. Much better than my store, that I wanted to make sure everyone knew about so I had a big sign outside it reading:

After numerous raids by the police (making sure I was collecting taxes???) the store closed. Sigh.

Sep 21, 2008 -

Happy Autumnal solstice! Today a group of people got together at a local park and played instruments. One man had made his own bass guitar - it was quite cool - and I played my acoustic guitar. It is a Taylor guitar and I really like it a lot. So, then I get home and BOOMER has been lying in wait for our female cat, Cali but Caitlin got quite out of sorts as she tried to hit him with a stick and he growled at her. She called the Animal Control people who sent an EGR safety officer over to ‘deal with Boomer’. He and Caitlin went to Boomer’s home and made them come over and pick him up (he growled at the police also).

So, Boomer dealt with, tonight we watched a beautiful TV show on TLC called “I Eat 33,000 Calories a Day”. And guess what? The people who eat 33,000 calories a day are somewhat obese. I tried to go onto TLC and get some evidence of my words, but they don’t want to circulate their humorous pictures, so I am reduced to showing this picture of this man who beat Anorexia - and - guess how I knew that!

Hopefully you get the general drift.

AND THEN I found out that Family Guy is on tonight like 3 hours, so I got some great education on how to deal with others when I am in public.

Sep 20, 2008 -

Another day, another lawnmower, as the prophet sayeth, and so it is saideth and thusly shall it have been done. In other words, we replaced the stolen mower today. I continue to bear a belief that the perpetrators were the same gentlefolk who tried to steal my moped.

Here is a picture of said machine:

I refer to it as the Hardley Davison, because that name was available. It is a 49cc scooter made in China by a company “Lifan” who is apparently the largest moped maker in the largest country in the largest continent in the largest planet earth. Maureen and I each have one in Tucson, Arizona (pics of the place can be found here)

Our home in East Grand Rapids (home of Gerald Ford, don’t ‘cha know) is pictured variously here.

Apparently my comments about my kids having ADD and not enjoying watching TV hit a sore spot, as I have had lots of feedback, some positive,some negative, about the comment. But I stick with what I have said.

In reading my blog earlier today I noticed some typos. Forgive the mistakes. I actually no how to tipe and spel but sometimes my fingers slip in what I call a “finger fart” because when I make a mistake I think it stinks. Don’t you?

So, my daughter watched Theoc for hours yesterday and I got to see what a crap show it was. Thank God it is off the air now. But then she handed me a movie and told me it was the finest movie she has ever seen. It is called “Army of Darkness” and is really REALLY BAD. Don’t watch it. Or do. Free will, you know. But it stinks. Big time. But he does ID his gun as being made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was not aware that guns are made here, but perhaps they are.

Did you know I had surgery in July ‘07 where they removed about 1/3 of each of my lungs? This was at the Cleveland Clinic, and for my trouble they gave me a nice bag to carry junk around in. I also got a brush that folds into itself, concealing a mirror inside.

Oh, by the way, your friend called and said “Shut up” so please listen to your friends - they are trying to help you.

I now have a goal legal-wise to get a huge jury verdict. I hope I get that.

Sep 19, 2008 -

Today I got up at 9:00 am, called a friend Dave Wood who had computer problems I couldn’t fix yesterday, and then the next thing I knew it was 1:00 pm and time to get up for the day - crack of mid-afternoon, I say!

So ... I did get rid of a nasty viral situation on his computer, then came home to sit and relax to a cute movie called “Midway”. Then another friend came over and invited me out for a beer and a burger, and who am I to say “No”? so I did. And returned to find CER and MBR watching something like ‘902Ghetto” or “Southside Hollywood” or something like that. Time to grab a quick nap, and now CER is watching “OC” which I believe stands for Outside Craphouse, which it should because it is really bad. It will NEVER make it on TV, which is why, I believe, it went straight to CD. It has all these weird people like Mischa BearTon and Venessa Hudgins and Claudia Schiffer as the evil Governor from Alaska.

I did get to see some polling numbers today indicating Barack is a tiny smidge ahead of McC and Sarah P with about 3 weeks to go. I am still sort of hoping that some 4th party candidate shows up who is qualified.

Did I mention that I am freaking out about all the banks/insurers closing down or shutting down? I have contacted the government to find out if the Ryan Home is TOO LARGE TO FAIL and if we qualify for a 2 billion dollar bail-out.

ALSO, we discovered yesterday that someone came down our driveway and entered our property and stole a lawnmower. A lawnmower. What a stupid thing to take and risk a felony conviction. And this on top of the statement that the EGR middle-school librarian made to one of my children that “all convicts are geniuses” or something close to that. I am figuring that her father was a convict, or her husband, or maybe she was a convict, but statements like that are just not what I would expect a genius

AND THEN I FOUND OUT that my kids don’t always enjoy watching TV or movies with me because they have like ADD and they can’t concentrate when I rant and make all sorts of noises, play music, misidentify actors (did you know Twiggy is starring in “The O.C.” as the daughter of the father of the man who married her mother? Well, my kids don’t know that because they can’t focus on the show and stay focused. How are they going to make it in this world if they can’t even focus on a TV show?

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Sep 18, 2008 -

Way too much going on. DJ McC and SP were in GR today, at a love-fest of rabid conservatives who seriously think that the biggest problems facing our society are trial lawyers like John Edwards. Or are they just getting us to wonder if maybe he isn’t the father of the child of the daughter of Sarah, the One Who Refused A Bridge To Somewhere and took money earmarked for some other ‘project’.

My friend Bob and I played guitar for several hours today. We are figuring out what songs to practice so we can play at the next Woodchuck. Looks like Tobacco Road may be one of them. I really like a song by Jan Arden “I would die for you”. But it is to simple - 3 chords and a short ‘riff’ as we call it in the industrial zone. I also like a Joan Osborne song about Pensicola - I still think she should have gotten a Grammy when Alanis stole literally every award that year. It’s a fact. It’s science. Google it.

Sep 15, 2008 -

I am soooooooooooooooo late in getting this to the publisher. My apologies.

Ok, the banking system is melting down rather quickly - did you know that 1 in 10 mortgages is in default right now? And I don’t mean that I have 10 mortgages. I mean that you  may have mortgages. Anyhow, in spite of this, Prisoner McCain insists that the basic structures of our economy are doing well. And Palin? C’mon. I did not see Tina Fey pretending to be her, because I don’t think it is funny to use someone else to pretend to be her other than her, which is why my page on her is so sound in foundation, as you can see if you look here.

Sep 10, 2008 -

I am already doing horribly: missed the last 2 days. I mean, how much work is it to type some words down? Oh well...Tomorrow is the anniversary of 9/11 so this week TV has been showing 9-11 shows, Pearl Harbor shows, and Palin shows. Apparently McCain has taken to putting on a bit of lipstick the last few days to ease her pain:

  I think it looks great on him...

So, anyhoo, Palin’s daughter was out and about at the hotel near the convention and photogs were quick to get a shot of her and we have the exclusive right here:

   Wait till she starts ‘showing’...

Sep 7, 2008 -

Already I am falling woefully behind. No wonder I can’t run a real blog.

Woke up today at about 1:30 p.m., crack of mid-afternoon. Autumn is coming soon, the chill is in the air, and I am getting ready to head out to Arizona for the winter.

Last week I listened in to the Republican convention from Minneapolis. Other than the Palin drone I found none of it of any interest. Misrepresentations and flat-out lies seem to be the political mode since 41 ran against the short guy from Mass.

My oldest daughter is practicing law in Istanbul, the youngest is at Michigan State, and the middle daughter is studying to head up resource management for Yemen, where she studied Arabic this summer.

Maureen  is still working on her a.D.D. and I may go back to take some classes or sit in on some in Greek/Roman studies at either GVSU or Aquinas which is right across the street.

I had been growing my hair longer, but got it cut so I can fit in more with usual society. Don’t know why, really, since I am such a hermit-like crab. My picture on the main page here is sort of long-haired.

I am watching “Breaking Bad” so I know how to “cook” “meth”. But I don’t want to wear gloves or a mask or the like. Probably won’t be very good.

Sep 4, 2008 -

McCain’s wife introduced him. Her photo looks like this:  

She spoke to Putin or whatever the VP’s name is. It isn’t Putin, but something else but like that. But Ms. McCain told the expectant VP to keep her pants on.

This is new to me, and so I am afraid and incompetent. But I will give it my best. What I’m going to try to do is keep the most recent at the top. Sound good to you? I think so too.

Sept 3, 2008 :

Our cat, Blackbud (he is our little black buddy) is SSSOOO CUTE! I am going to try to get some short movies A few weeks back we decided to let him go outside. Big mistake. When I saw him running down the road (at least he was using proper lane usage) I decided that was it for him. There is some information about Blackbud here if you need help getting there.

Republican’ts Minneapolis - Guliani spoke. He can speak, but what rubbish. “How dare they challenge her ability to be a mom and VP?” Well, “they” don’t. Reps are working hard to lay fault on Dems. McCain’s choice speaks. Here is a brief shot of her daughter:

Here are some of the literature the Right to Life of Alaska folk have gotten the public schools there to post around:

The lady Governor from Alaska can’t say anything - words come out but it is all just general rhetoric. But she did introduce her parents, and say how great it is that relatives get to go kill Iraqis. That’s what hockey moms do these days. Like the Paul Neuman movie “Slapstick”. “Hocky mom vs Pit bull - Lipstick” Hahahahahaha. She’s really funny, that one. She is apparently misrepresenting that she refused any financial aid to do anything in her state. “Terrorists” “Oil independence.” I am so burned out already this year by the endless primaries, especially since Michigan didn’t count for a hill of beans in this crazy world.We are already dependent on others for oil.

Done with my part in restoring convicted drivers back to driving privileges for today. Can you imagine life without a license - work, groceries, kids, etc. Use technology to keep them from driving when intoxicated or whatever.

When I was a kid (pre-driver license) I figured that one day we wouldn’t have to steer or direct a car because wires would do it. Wonder why that hasn’t happened yet.

Sep 2, 2008 -

Today I worked at getting convicted drunk drivers back on the road, because I figure life is a gamble anyhow and you never know unless you try. Besides, if the drink and drive they will get caught, because that is on signs on the highway. And they couldn’t say it if it weren’t true.

Aug 28, 2008 -

I have had several requests to post a recent article I authored about my life as a SuperHero Crime Figher. Therefore, without further ado . . .

August 28, 2008: East Grand Rapids Michigan (AP): Your mom is on the lamb from the long arm of the law at GVSU, so she can't drive there. Today she asked me to drop her off there, which I did out of love. She called at 3 pm and asked me to pick her up. I raced right over and got her, and we returned straight home, where I saw a kid walking down the driveway. I figured he was e.g. dropping off the Cadence paper or some such, and suddenly my razor sharp keen perception realized that there had been disturbance in the force, and within a nanominute realized that my moped had been moved into the center of the driveway. I exited the vehicle I was driving as the lad moved sort of through our bushes on Robinson Road heading in an easterly direction. Your mother exited the vehicle, and the chase was on! I surveyed the situation and recognized immediately that if I were to launch a successful trek against crime in EGR that I would have to go south, so I took Rosewood south and saw 3 young lads riding bicycles and the red shirted youth who had meandered out of our property was on the handlebars of one of the bikes, so I headed his way, and turned in an easterly direction into someone's yard, cutting off one of the kids on a bike, who went behind the car (as was, you shall learn, a common method of excaping a car cutting it off). With cat-like reflexes I put the car into reverse (actually first into neutral but it wouldn't go anywhere) going backward in a northerly direction (due north, not the cruddy magnet north that Canada pretends is 'so cool') then a rapid east turn onto Wealthy, where one of 'the gang of four' was riding a bike. He visualized my approach, and decried his innocence by exclaiming "I didn't steal anything, I wasn't with them" in a clever criminal-minded ruse to throw me off the scent of justice. Not today, mon frère, I thought as I spotted out of the corner of my eye the red shirted pedestrian who had just minutes earlier been contemplating a life with wheels, so I turned in the middle of Wealthy, and headed toward Easttown. However, prior to my arrival there, the young rascallions had crossed the Subway parking lot, and were in the CVS parking lot. As I trailed them, I discovered that the individual who had claimed to not have been with them was himself approaching the same locale. How his heart must have sunk when he recognized that I had beat him to the area. He went around the back of my car. So I accelerated with utmost haste and went around the block, where I recognized the tyke riding his bike down some Jhetto street behind Easttown. Let the chase begin, I may have yelled out to myself in my own head, and I followed. In a clever ruse he went around to the side of a house, leaving his bike basically at the feet of the homeowner, and hid behind a small tree. Seeing that I was hot on the trail and that the old lady of the house was headed around to get a look-see at him, he bolted, and grabbing his bicycle, he took off like a flash. I stalked him like a puma on stink, and made "my move" by turning left into a driveway right in front of him. He fell. I situated the car in the street as the chappie young lad approached my side of my car, yelling "Hey, nigga, what you following me?" and with pugilistic acumen I realized his fist was headed my way. He struck me, and I struck back. Then he got on his bike and took off down another one-way street the wrong way, then into someone's yard. Having decided that I had repelled as much of an attack as I wanted that day ("bring it on bitch" is all I kept muttering over and over on my way home) I returned home to find your mom and my friends sitting on the porch awaiting my return.

(At some point my glasses had come off. I believe it was as I was trying to figure out how to dial 911 on my cell-phone while driving frantically down one-way streets the wrong way, and that ilk of driving. My glasses were not injured.)

So that is basically the story.