Hey, let’s look at some great history, ok?

Ok. Now, the House of David was in Benton Harbor. It was founded by the grandfather of my first girlfriend. One of her brothers unsuccessfully used the “House of David” defense for wrapping a golf club around a girl’s neck a couple of times.

But the House of David was awesome! It had a great bandshell and had dances for several summers, while the trains still ran. It was quite a community, to be sure. It was local lore that the head of this religious group used to travel by boat out some 7 miles from Michigan’s shore, to purify the women who lived at the House of David.

The House of David deserves its own site. Google it and go there.

The House of David was known for one thing: Men with long hair. Who played softball. Professionally. With tremendous success. Throughout the United States. The guy 3rd in on the right, and the guy all the way to the left, look like Joe and Phil Roth, or whatever their names were. They portrayed the Marx Brothers in a high school skit. Were you in high school? Were you high in school? Or as our Chinese friend might have said, Were high school in you? Our gym class senior year, at St. Joe High, played tennis and drove snowmobiles and bowled and all sorts of stuff. After a hard workout, we would generally go over to the Benton Harbor Hilton for some fun and relaxation with the guys after a tough day at work. I don’t think that the Benton Harbor seniors can make a statement like that. Don’t you?

Early Hippies show their need for individualism by all dressing alike in uniforms and with their dirty long hair and their loud acid rock music. Eric Cartman hates hippies, but not blacks. They just hate those of alternative color, or as we in Michigan like to call it, race. And do you know what race you’re in? If it’s the 40’s and softball it is HD all the way!

mailto:tomryan@tomryan.com THR will now explain in a sentence or two the tragic 40 years of the decline and fall of Benton Harbor. First, white guy runs foundry. Whites don’t do that kind of work. Bring up some folks from the south with promise of good northern conditions and wages. Ok, that’s more than a couple two sentences already, so I’ll be brief. Blacks moved in, there was some white flight, there were riots and the rest of the whites fled like rats off a sinking ship. Then when given the opportunity to have new riverside development, the City buys the shut-down K-Mart across the street and puts up public housing there.

Oh, and the foundries closed in the 80s. Everything else around did too. Auto Specialties closed, leaving what some might call brown fields along Ridgeway. Whirlpool moved all plant operations to e.g. Ohio, et. al. which were more labor-owner friendly. The government pays for staying where there are no jobs. Go figure.

Law Enforcement Personnel take a “One of Us” approach to tackling crime in the big city. Did you see the South Park where the cop almost accidentally convicted a white man of something? Anyhow, here is a representative example of our proud State’s approach to developing community relations with our brothers of Benton Harlem as they call it.

Can anyone identify anyone? If so, call 1-800-shoot-me for operator assistance. It is a collect call, so please have your credit card information ready.

TIP - don’t throw rocks through police car windows, because it is not a socially acceptable method of indicating a lack of trust or hope. More Tips.

Presidential Hopeful Al Sharpton addressed the audience, hoping he could count on their vote. He found out they couldn’t count and didn’t vote either. Nor did they hope for much either.

After a friendly basketball game some citizens cross a bridge that can open and walk up toward the jail and court and St. Joe. They had drinks at the Benton Harbor Hilton which is clearly visible in the upper left, and after which our girl about town is named, although it did on occassion go by the name Residence Inn, which in this case meant that resident prisoners who had just gotten out of jail but had to live under supervision, lived there, together with any unfortunate traveler who might stop there for some reason. It was right across from Sears which closed in the 80s, which was built on the Flats or the original neighborhood for the new residents from our southern state of Alabama, and that is where the Fruit Market was located. It was at one time called The Largest Fruit Market In The World. It closed in the 60s. Then Sears and K-Mart (did you know the K stands for kwality?) and the Buick Dealer where I got my buick that you saw in the section on cars. You did see that, didn’t you? Do you need help navigating? Use your mouse on the web pages for help.

The only non-movable bridge is on Napier running down some of the fairways of Berrien Hills Country Club. Jim White was the manager there for basically all my childhood. The manager of the Penn Club in GR remembered him to me when we went through our rigorous pre-membership meeting with the manager. I represented Berrien Hills once because members there were gambling in the presence of alchohol, which Michigan law prohibits. If you disagree with this law, tell Governor Granholm to make up a new law.

Either the kid didn’t know about it or it was open, but this is the railroad bridge which goes between St. Joe and Benton Harbor. The kid was dancing with white women in St. Joe. He ran from the authorities, and in his guilty stage must have misgagued when he ran down by the Train Station in St. Joe and got into a sort of dead-end, with the South Pier on the same side as he, and the North Pier just across the tracks... Anyhow, he drowned or was killed or suffered some mishap or whatever, but the story is told in “The Other Side of the River”, which is not to be confused with “Crossings” by Deidre McCloskey. Did you know my grandmother was 99 when she died in St. Joe, and her husband brought electricity to the little community of St. Joe.

Also, did you know that Benton Harbor doesn’t own many police cars? The budget does not permit it.

Deer Forest is in Coloma. So is Officer Nick. Or at least he used to be. Bad news, that one. Lawsuit waiting to happen, he was. And then he sued some lady who broke his leg? I don’t think so, Nick. Not on my watch.

TheBlossom Bridge can open; it crosses to Ridgeway, right by Whirlpool and Auto Specialties. Gary Tiscornia is a lawyer and works for animal rights for the Humane Society.

So hot in her summer sun dress

mailto:tomryan@tomryan.com for advertising questions.

plus I wanted a lot of space so you would have to use up more miles of the information highway finding all the information you ever knew or even forgot. Plus, that puts the hot chicks into better visual order so you don’t get a “two-for-one” which I don’t know about you but I hate. I prefer double dutch.

It’s True!

Oh, Benton Harbor Hilton, how I have enjoyed my many nights with you. I just wish that they had made video cameras before I left the tranquility of the St. Joe/Benton Harbor “Twin Cities” for the fast-paced action in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Do you live there? Are you glad or sad about it? You can tell us. Hush Hush.

OK IT IS TRUE I DID SAY THERE WOULD BE ANOTHER BUG EYED PICTURE HERE, SO HERE IS LITTLE BH GIVING US “THE LOOK” WE KNOW. NOW, THAT’S HOT!

Oh, you silly goose you...

We know that that face means it is the end of the page.